There’s No Such Thing As Something For Nothing, Part 8103

Update: Carin pointed out a pretty big oversight on my part, that being the soundtrack! Bowser and Blue Vasectomy

Brian’s Balls by the Arrogant Worms should be here too, but I can’t seem to find it.

In these tough economic times, the ability to save money is perhaps as important as it has ever been. Unfortunately however, it is a skill/luxury that does not come easily to many for a variety of reasons. One of these reasons, as anyone who knows anything about them would almost certainly agree, is children. Yes, they’re cute. Yes, you love them. But let’s be honest. Kids are little slobbering money pits that eventually grow into not so little slobbering money pits. It’s hard to say how big the pit actually is, but imagine how big 25 years would be if you could visualize it in physical form and then fill it with bills and cheques and you’ll start to understand the gravity of the situation.

But that being said, there are, of course, ways around this problem. One of the most common is the vasectomy, a procedure undergone by thousands of men each year. for many, the expense of the snip is worth the long-term savings, but I recognize that not everyone will see it that way. So too, it seems, does the Royal Institution of Australia, who would like to make you an offer you may or may not be able to refuse depending on your commitment to saving up for your so-called golden years.

For free, yes, absolutely free, the Institute will provide respected vasectomist dr. Doug Stein, a man with well over 30,000 cuts to his credit, to decommission your baby blaster. The only catch is that you have to be available on October 18th, 2013. Oh, and you’ll need to be ok with the big event being streamed live online for the world to see while the good doctor and some professors discuss human population issues as part of the first ever World Vasectomy Day.

Yup, total bargain!

“This event will take vasectomy out of the medical suite and into the homes of people who may never have considered vasectomy,” Institute director Paul Willis said in a statement. “It will be an important way of encouraging people to think about how their ecological footprint leaves its mark on the planet.”

I find it hard to believe that there’s a man on earth who hasn’t come home to a messy house full of screaming kids and not at least considered a vasectomy, but he’s the expert, so I’ll take his word that these people do in fact exist.

If you’re willing to put yourself on display for the possible betterment of mother earth, you can subscribe to a newsletter that will presumably tell you everything you could ever want to know right here. In keeping with our theme, the information does appear to be free.

I’m not sure who I’m more curious about, the people who would sign up to get a free genital operation on the internet or the people who will tune in to watch somebody get a free genital operation on the internet. Thoughts?

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