Ass Ass Baby

So apparently, there are a lot of seniors with STD’s now, and it’s not something that’s getting talked about. So, Dr. Shannon Dowler wrote a rap song about it…which is pretty damn good.

I have to say that I’m feeling pretty old, because “Ice Ice Baby” was picked as a song that is supposed to reach seniors. Hmmm.

Any way you look at it, it’s getting people talking, so that’s what she was going for.

Yo, Dr. D in the house, let’s kick it.
safe sex baby
safe sex baby

Alright stop, collaborate and listen
to rap Dr. D’s rap intention
callin’ out all you fellas and ladies
STD’s are tearin’ through folks in their eighties.

Can ya really help bein’ sex kittens
why can’t you wear your little love mittens?
Gotta be safe, ’cause sex has gotten risky,
no shame in bein’ a freak and gettin’ a little frisky

Dang, your body’s a temple,
Keepin’ safe’s not always so simple.
sex indiscretions lead to depression,
no matter how you like it, condoms give the best protection.

Love it or leave it, hormones start to flag
Things dry up and your tail can lose that wag.
If that’s a problem, lube may solve it,
see your family doc if it doesn’t resolve it.

Chorus

Vaginal atrophy is something’.
A sex catastrophe, it can be the real thing.
Quick to the point, to the point I’m makin’
lubrication’s key, and ya know I’m not fakin’.

Trauma, from guys’ erections,
tears thin skin without detection.
Listen up, and learn from this lection,
if you don’t want a nasty groin infection.

Aging, it’s just a normal stage,
we all have to get on the same safe sex page.
Fellas on standby, wantin’ more than saying hi.
Should ya stop, or should you just drive by.

Wait until they’re checked at an STD shop
check things out from the bottom to the top.
Your sex life can be later and stronger,
thanks to Viagra, boy parts work longer.

Livin’ a sex revolution,
bein’ sex savvy is the smartest sex solution.
Let’s break it down, cougars all around,
all these STDs all the time bein’ found.

Bodies, we’re just a cafeteria
a cesspool of germs, of virus and bacteria
Once called the clap, Gonorrhea’s got a rap
Sleepin’ around? Probably a trap.

Subtle and sneaky is chlamydia
Ya may not even know when the bug has gotten into ya.
Syphilis makes a painless little sore,
then you spread it ’round every time you score.

All are on the scene, back in action,
Tearin’ things up, put your parts in traction.
STDs are a problem,
one way to solve it, see your family doctor.

chorus

Take heed, I’m an STD poet,
Rap Dr. D. I want you to know it.
In my town, I see these infections,
give bad news when they’re detected.

Sex can be a germ spill,
people aren’t safe for real.
Virus and bacteria, sexually transmitted,
How to be safe? Make sure the condom’s fitted.

I’m rap Dr. D and I wanna help ya be,
free of Herpes, AIDS and HPV.
All these STDs really are stealthy,
Without ’em, your sex life will be healthy.

No lame excuses, you know to take precautions.
Rap Dr. out, hope your golden years are awesome.
If you’ve got a problem, and condoms won’t solve it,
see your family doc, maybe they can resolve it.

Chorus

Yo, let’s get outa here. Word to your doctor.

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One comment

  1. Steve Wettlaufer

    Think about this. When Ice Ice Baby came out, anyone who is 80 right now like mentioned in the song would have been 53, making it completely plausible that they could have had kids who played it nonstop and would therefore know it reasonably well. You may now commence feeling old.

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