Stop It!

Last Updated on: 11th October 2013, 10:42 am

I’m getting really tired of all of the emails from people asking me to help them update their address books through some automated company or telling me that such and such a person wants to contact me, and that all I have to do to get in touch is click a link and fill out a form. I get several of these things every month and sometimes they’re even multiple emails from the same person using a few different services.

The really annoying part though isn’t the emails themselves, though they certainly get on my goddamn nerves. It’s the fact that almost all of these messages are coming from people I know personally. Yeah, I said almost all. I’ve actually gotten email from people who’s names I don’t even know wanting me to give them all of my info. I figure they’re either spammers, stalkers, people who read this site or
Salty Ham
or some combination of the 3. But whoever they are, that’s sort of weird isn’t it? But that’s kind of beside the point so let’s get back on track.

What I can’t figure out is why, if you know enough about me to know my email address, do you need me to provide it to some third party company that can’t be trusted? If you want me in your address book so badly, why can’t you just put me there yourself? You have the time to sit there and send out the annoying email to every person you know and a few you don’t, so would it really take that much extra time to just punch the email address that you already have into the system on your own? By the way, who needs the same set of people in 7 different databases? Are you really that forgetful/important/starved for things to do? For God’s sake, go outside or something!

And don’t even get me started on these companies. I decided a few months back that I would try to fill a couple of these things out as an experiment just to see what would happen. Jesus Christ, what a nightmare! They want more of your contact information than actually exists, the exact time date and location of the last time you took a piss, and a DNA sample from your first born child! And not only that, a lot of them won’t even let you update your buddy’s contact list without you starting one of your own so that you can spread the virus and bother all of your friends too because hell, why should anybody miss out on this much fun?

So please, everybody, stop using these services. They’re useless, they’re irritating, and they make people not like you. Trust me on this one.

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