I Dropped Some Candy In The Screening Line. Can You Help Me Find It, Little Boy?

Last Updated on: 30th April 2014, 08:19 am

I know the folks at the TSA don’t much care for being called gropers and child molesters, so if any of them who may be reading my words have a better adjective for this I’d love to hear it, strictly for entertainment and what balls (not in the literal sense) purposes.

“You try to make it as best you can for that child to come through. If you can come up with some kind of a game to play with a child, it makes it a lot easier,” said Marchand, promising to make it part of TSA training.

Marchand is TSA regional security director and apparent creepy my cute puppy is in this van over here guy James Marchand talking about how to make pat downs easier and more comfortable for children.

Yeah Jim, let’s make a game out of it. Because honestly, nobody who’s ever been sexually abused has ever been told that they’re playing a game. Nobody, with the possible exception of oh I don’t know, let’s call them damn near all of them.

While the silly, immature part of me laughs at there being a child abuse prevention expert named Ken Wooden, the sensible part of me knows that he’s absolutely right. By the way, for the benefit of James Marchand and his kind, the sensible part is the mechanism that makes it obvious to a thinking person that rooting around in the cooter of little Sylvia Six isn’t going to save the world from a single bomb.

Telling a child that they are engaging in a game is “one of the most common ways” that sexual predators use to convince children to engage in inappropriate contact, Wooden told Raw Story.

Children “don’t have the sophistication” to distinguish between a pat-down carried out by an airport security officer and an assault by a sexual predator, he said.

The TSA policy could “desensitize children to inappropriate touch and ultimately make it easier for sexual offenders to prey on our children,” Wooden added.

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