Don’t Get Sucked Into The Virtual Life

Damn it, I’ve been ruined. Every time I go to look at my Facebook or Twitter on my phone, strains of a certain song begin to play.

It’s a parody of “Circle of Life” from the Lion King. I can’t make out all the lyrics, but I’m going to write out as many as I possibly can and leave blanks where I don’t have a prayer. Maybe you can help me fill in the gaps. I feel old. I’m sure some of the gaps are because of expressions I legitimately don’t know. I know it’s not perfect, but it’s the best I can do. I also know I’ll get other lyrics wrong. But, again, it’s the best I can do. Blame the authors for not giving us the lyrics themselves.

Time to check my social media ya
to see who, loves me online.

Time to post a, pic with an inspirational quote,
It’s deep and we’ll get likes.
No Wifi
Oh no I’ll die
where’s my phone?
It gives me life

Eating ramen, here in my pajamas
eating ramen, here in my pajamas
eating ramen, here in my pajamas…
logging on to see all of my followers
Instagram of java on a saucer
There’s my mamma, ranting ’bout Obama.
All in caps, improper use of commas
To be honest, I feel for the Amish
They can’t vine or tweet or Facebook comment…

Every day we get on the internet
and talk through our screens to everyone.
When words fail, we speak
through emojis and memes
we follow Tay Tay and Kim Kardashian

When I’m not on fleek and feeling basic, and my FOMO leaves me with no chill
I know my Snapchat squad, will make me say ____ this world wide web is _____ for real.


It’s the virtual life
and it fools us all.
We compare and scroll
so we’ll measure up.
We will take selfis
in the perfect lighting
it’s the virtual, the virtual life.

Had to pause from looking at a flower,
just to snap a pic of nature’s power
composition filter, caption, now to
share this sacred moment took an hour.
My friend Donna went to the Bahamas.
Haven’t talked to her since back in college.
still I stalk her feed, pics by the water.
oo she likes the Donald, I’ll unfollow.

Never call him, I’ll just online holler
Went to watch Madonna in Atlanta,
on my phone all night, I never saw her.
Hey, a ________ Buzzfeed list for Harry Potter
oh my god, my phone is out of power!
Where’s my charger, dear god where’s my charger?


My god that was hard, and look at all the places I can’t make out. Please, somebody help me clean this up. But at least my transcription didn’t look like this Frazy Ford song.

I have to say that the first verse was funnier than the second…they probably could have made their point with one verse and a chorus. But oh well, the song is in my head now…and it’s in all of your heads too. Mwha ha ha ha ha ha!

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1 Comment

  1. You’re a better man than I, or at least a less lazy one. At some point I’ll watch this again and see if I can fill in any gaps, but it looks like you’ve done pretty well.

    You’re right. It’s a funny concept, but it goes on a bit too long. I sometimes used to get frustrated when somebody like Bob Rivers didn’t take a stab at parodying a whole song, but there’s something to be said for doing things his way. Get in your best lines, make your point, get out. Don’t stretch it out just so you can make a complete sound-alike.

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