Of Course I’m Not A…Beepbeepboopboop…Crap!

Last Updated on: 30th May 2018, 01:22 pm

Points for being diligent I guess, but I sure hope these Fiat selling Floridians understand cars better than they seem to understand computers. Yeesh.

The sales guy was handing me paper after paper with a brief explanation of what each one was for, and then he handed me that page — with literally nothing else on it — and just mater-of-factly said, “And this one is just to ensure you’re not a robot.
We both said, “Really?” And I don’t know if he’s just done it so long that it was normal to him now or what, but he was just like, “Yep.”

What the hell? Okay, I get that they’re printing these forms out from online, but, come on, they must know that “I’m not a robot” thing is part of the reCAPTCHA security thing that only makes sense if you’re filling out forms online, right? When you’re not sitting right in front of someone and you can tell that they’re not some blinking, blooping, oil-chugging droid?
Right? They must understand that?
I called the dealership to confirm if this is routine, this confirmation that the people there in the office are actually people, and not hyper-realistic androids who just want to buy a new Fiat.
It’s true. They do this. All the time. I asked them why, and was told by a sales associate,

“It’s not about us. In order for us to print the next one, you have to check that. So we print it out, and have the customer check that when we do.”

He went on to say, and hopefully this is a joke, that You never know; they have that girl Alexa, and she can talk and make phone calls and stuff.”

But what if this thing calling itself Marci Robin was a robot in a very convincing woman costume? What if that checkbox was all that stood between the Marci 5000 getting hold of a 4-wheeled killing machine and ending us all? What then, Mr. Sales Associate? Would you stand up for humanity, no matter the personal cost?

I asked the sales associate this, and he said if the robot had a social security number and an ID, then he’d sell it a car.

That’s comforting, aside from the part where it’s not at all comforting.

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