Eat It, Boneless Chicken Wings

I’m glad there are still folks out there who are willing to stand up and take on the big issues. Seriously, what the hell is a boneless chicken wing anyway? It really is just a damn nugget, and most of the time it’s not even a very good one. Thank you for speaking out, Andrew Christensen of Lincoln, Nebraska. I’m sure your father is extremely proud.

I ordered boneless wings once. It was at a KFC back in like 2004. They were awful. I have no idea what the sauce that came with them was, but it did little to improve the quality of the powdery tasting chicken. Chicken, for the record, should never be accurately described as powdery. There was also no relief to be found in the accompanying tater tots, which attacked my tongue with a quite unpleasant assault of batter coated vinegar and water shrapnel. I stay away from the boneless wings everywhere now, just to be safe. To be safe, and because boneless wings do not truly exist.

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