I thought this one had gone up years ago since a bunch of people have sent it to me, but it seems I’m wrong. So since I just saw it again… A teacher in a one-room schoolhouse arrives one morning to find a nice red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Dear SkipTheDishes Guy
I don’t like the idea of customers being able to retroactively take back tips from service people, but you know what they say about rules and exceptions. If we could have (Can We? We didn’t check.), you would quite likely have been the first person we ever did it to, because good lord. Yes, the …
The Best News Bloopers Of October, 2022
These appeared near the beginning of the month as usual, but then vanished before I could post them. No idea what happened, but they’re back now. The weather lady with the earring is speaking my language. Enjoy that omelette. And good luck with the gas, David!
Even If I Walk Instead, They’re Still Driving Out There. It’s Been Nice Knowing You
I don’t drive so perhaps I shouldn’t be judging, but I’ve got to tell you that as a passenger, the fact that Uber feels it necessary to prevent its drivers from making left turns and remind them to watch for traffic at intersections is not at all comforting. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety …
No Thanks To The Clowns At Yahoo News, Here Is When You Can Expect The Next Emergency Alert Test
Most of Canada should get itself prepared to jump out of its skin this coming Wednesday, November 16th. At some point that day, there is going to be a test of the Alert Ready emergency alert system. I would love to tell you when, but because some lazy fucker at Yahoo News decided to stick …
My Way Right Away
Hello there, 53-year-old Florida woman. I just wanted to take a few seconds out of my day to tell you that in spite of how things may seem sometimes, things really are going to be ok. For starters, you absolutely appear to have been on the right side of that argument you had with your …
Remember When You And Your Buddies Could Quote A Movie? Those Were Good Times
What? Huh? Why your favorite shows and films sound worse than ever I’m not one who watches a ton of modern movies or TV shows, but even I have most definitely noticed this. And it’s not just because the television in our house is old as the hills. It doesn’t matter where I am or …
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Since You’re Going To Try To Market Remembrance Day…
I can’t be the only one who finds it a little bit creepy and distasteful when I open my email on a day like Remembrance Day to find businesses marketing whatever it is they sell alongside lest we forget messages. I’m not the easily offended type, but I find it gross. Do what you want …
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The Black And White War
Gill has an interesting thought at the end here. So often we hear stories about family we’ve never met and never will. They’re almost always held up as salt of the earth human beings, maybe even heroes. But what kind of people were they, really? It sometimes feels like you’re not supposed to ask or …
Back Down Sequence Initiated
Man alive. When I made this prediction, I had no idea how right it was going to be. Ford and company, as usual, have made a right mess of things. Also as usual, their tough talk has gotten them where it gets them more often than any government with any sort of clue should ever …