If you’re looking for a way to bring the nonstop fun of airport security screenings into your own home or for an excuse to teach your little ones how to give a proper pat down, do I have just the thing for you. Yes, it’s thePlaymobil Security Check Point! Imagine the fun you and your …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Step Into The Scanner Here…Ok, Now Turn Around…A Little More…More…Ahhh, That’s Got It
Gee, I didn’t see this one coming. No, not at all. Those we need to see your penis for the sake of national security scanners that will soon be at an airport near you, the ones that absolutely cannot under any circumstances store images of your dimply ass for others to enjoy, well…turns out they …
He’s A Brandon Baby…
Going to jail for grand theft after you used your position as a UPS worker to help you steal a couple hundred pairs of high end sunglasses is pretty bad, but I bet it’s nothing compared to the punishment of going through life named Brandon Loser.
You Are Here?
As usual, it’s been a while since I’ve tried to crank out one of these things. It’s getting harder and harder the longer the site lives because once you’ve made a joke about a search, it’s hard to make it again and still have it come off kind of original. There’s also the growing problem …
I’m In A Weird Mood Today
You wanna know how I know I’m in a weird mood today? Not only did I make it through the entire 2 minutes and 6 seconds ofLet It Be as sung by a man described only as a “Fat Russian singer who looks like Newt Gingrich,”but I couldn’t stop laughing at it and by the …
Yet Another Use For A Broom Closet
Thepost a couple days ago about a woman passing out in a broom closetreminded me of this joke. A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the can. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the …
Well, She’s Probably One Now
Recently arraigned on felony charges of criminal endangerment, assault with a weapon and criminal mischief was 22-year-oldCamaree N. Fellonwho, I should add, sounds like a doll. Before following in her own vehicle, Fellon allegedly caused a significant amount of damage to her boyfriend’s home by shooting the pistol into the wall, breaking out several windows, …
Putting Their Money Where Your Maggots Are
I’m not really a Starbucks guy, but if I’m ever there and for whatever reason need to return something, I’m pretty confident after readingthisthat I’ll get my refund without too much trouble. When they say you can return anything for any reason they apparently aren’t kidding, even if your anything is a cup of steamed …
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There’s Always Room For J E L L Y…Fish
There’s really not a whole lot to this story. Keith Edward Marriottwas just out having some fun, provided fun is getting hammered, repeatedly pretending to drown and throwing jellyfish on teenagers. You know, just a regular day at the office. The main reason I’m posting this is because I have a couple questions. 1. when …
Smells Like Poker Face
Hmm. We’ve already covered Poker Face and arranged it for orchestra, what else can we do with it? I know, how about we mash it together with Smells Like Teen Spirit, that might be fun. Splendid idea, Mr. DJ Lobsterdust, splendid idea.