I have a nephew who’s super into Pokemon, to the point where he happy cried when my mom got him gold cards for Christmas. Not sure how he feels about Creed, though. This, apparently, is how it’s supposed to sound. Somehow I’ve either managed to never hear it or to forget that I have.
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Thanks, Doug. Still Ain’t Votin’ For Ya
Doug Ford poised to send out pre-election cheques to 16 million Ontarians Don’t get me wrong. I’ll happily take an extra couple hundred from the government if they’d like to send it to me. But you know what would make me even happier? If they would take the $3.2 billion that this pre-election bribery with …
We’d Call It A Honk ‘N’ Bonk, But Pedestrians Can’t Honk. That’s Why This Is Their Fault
I don’t know if this one is the fault of the police or the media, but I’m going to guess it’s the police because the media tends to just go ahead and regurgitate whatever silly ass language the police put in their press releases without bothering to think about it. When you hear the words …
Do You Want Cord Cutting? Because This Is How You Get Cord Cutting
Pretty sure I just figured out how Rogers plans to pay for its shiny new chunk of sports monopolization. You’ll be shocked by the answer, no doubt. Upcoming change to your TV Box rental fee(s) We hope you’re enjoying your TV service. With the rising costs to deliver the latest technology, we’ll begin charging an …
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Long Live the Death Of The Touch Screen
Touch Screens Are Over. Even Apple Is Bringing Back Buttons. Product designers are embracing how users actually feel after years of pushing flat and sleek Man, do I ever hope this guy is right, because I hate touch screens. I say that without the slightest hint of exaggeration. If there was a regular old push …
I Think You’ve Just Crossed A Line, MLB Audio
On this final day of the Major League Baseball regular season, I would like to take a second to offer the heartiest of fuck yous to the MLB app for cutting away from the legendary Bob Uecker while he was in the midst of giving his feelings on the end of the Oakland Athletics so …
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Welcome To Amarillo, Sandman
For the longest time, I’ve had “Amarillo by Morning” by George Strait in my head. Not constantly, but on and off for months. I don’t know how it got there or why it refused to leave, but it resulted in me listening to it now perhaps more than I did when it was new. Lately, …
What If Back In Black Was An Emo Song
I’m sure it would sound a little something like this, because everything around that time sounded like this. Dude nailed it. I re-imagined ACDC’s Back in Black in the style of 2004-2007 emo bands! You know the ones, they had two singers, and neither of them could really sing, but you could tell they meant …
You Won’t Be Hearing About Our New Posts On Twitter Anymore
Judging by the stats this isn’t likely to mean much to most of you, but if you’re still one of those people who finds out that we’ve posted something by seeing a notification on Twitter, get ready to start not doing that. I haven’t done a thing there since ol’ Numbnuts bought the place a …
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Goldust Tells The Story Of Getting Tourette’s
Hey there, wrestling fans. Remember that time when Goldust got electrocuted and wound up having Tourette’s for a while? No? Good for you. This was back in 2003, a couple years into the period where it had become abundantly clear that WWE had no competition left but desperately needed some. If you’ve never seen one …
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