Before I write a big post about the holidays, I just had to write this down because, well, it belongs here. Attention all dumbasses! When you decide it’s time to carjack someone, you might want to know where you’re going if you manage to steal their car. Otherwise, you might end up having to admit …
Category Archives: news
Why Do I Care About This?
So some Miss USA goes to New York and drinks some booze and snorts a little cocaine and gets caught. Woopdy frickin doo! Tell me why this is even on the news now. But the part that pisses me off is what the snivelling model says in her speech when Donald Trump gives her a …
I’m Still Scratching My Head!
And shaking it. Am I awake? I am. I was watching the news, and the music start sup, and the lady comes on and says, “Tonight, we’ll tell you why scratch tickets aren’t the greatest stocking stuffer idea…” I’m like what the hell? What could possibly be wrong with a goddamn scratch ticket? Don’t take …
This is Scary.
I read about this story, and it freaked me out, and continues to freak me out. This woman went in for a colonoscopy. She was put in a twilight state, that is she was partially sedated. She woke up with semen on her face. The doctor, Aniruddha Chitale, was found guilty. His sentence is disgustingly …
Smart Dog? Dumb Master? Dumb Dog and Master?
A Doberman Pinscher named Victoria figured out that she could turn on a stove, and after one showing of this new trick causing a minor fire, her master didn’t fix it so Victoria couldn’t get to repeat it. Victoria repeated it while her master was gone. Now her apartment is gutted. Here’s a tip for …
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How Do I Know If I’m Officially A Loser?
Well, if you feel the need to buya DVD of people acting like they’re eating Christmas dinner with you so that you don’t have to feel like you’re by yourself,the chances are pretty good that you might just have a problem.
The Dreaded N-Word!
No, I’m not talking about dear old Michael Richards’s outburst of a few days ago. I’m talking about a different n-word. Nation! Sorry, George Stroumboulopoulos, I had to steal your bit from the hour, just because I thought it was hilarious. Seriously, though, what in hell does all of this mean? Let me try and …
What Year Is It Anyway?
Everybody keeps telling me that it’s 2006, but with all thistalk of microphone outfitted security cameras on public streets,I swear that it’s actually 1984. Seriously guys, you’re creeping me out here. And I know I know, you’re claiming that the microphones can’t pick up words because they’re up too high and you can’t zoom the …
Arg….Government!
It just never stops. The government’s quest for more ways to get tax money out of the people. Here’s the latest twist. Get this. There are internet gaming environments like Second Life and World of Warcraft, in which you can play these games and interact with other users. One of the things you can do …
What’s He Going To Do When They Make Another Movie?
Right now, somewhere in Britain, there is a man walking around named James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live And Let Die The Man With The Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A …
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