Francis Viliar really didn’t want to get caught. He paid someone $400 to cut his fingers from knuckle to tip so his fingerprints would be unreadable. Too bad it didn’t work. That has gotta suck, after going through all that effort and pain, and for nothing. Not that I feel sorry for him, though.
Category Archives: fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouch
True Grits
Jesus, this is almost as crazy aspouring boiling oil on a guy because he bought the wrong chicken. Carolyn Brown, 44, was charged with second-degree battery Wednesday after she allegedlypoured a pot of hundred degree grits onto her sleeping boyfriend following an argument.As it happens, second is also the degree of the burns the victim …
The Taste Is Gonna Move Ya
When I first heard the story of a chemistry student blowing his face off with exploding bubble gum, my bullshit meter went off the charts. First off, they didn’t mention his name and there were a lot of details left vague. But now I have his name, Vladimir Likhonos from the town of Konotop in …
Got Your Nose!
Don’t fuck with two men in Tuscumbia. They’ll think nothing of biting off the end of your nose. William Cole thought he’d quick break into a house and steal something, anything, I guess. He just waltzed in the door, past the two dudes who were inside, as if he owned the place. That’s a lot …
The Knife Was Sharp, He Wasn’t.
Um, ow. Rance Johnson found out that it’s not a good idea to smuggle a 5-inch plastic knife in his rectum. What’s even weirder is he’d had it there for 3 weeks before complaining of pain and having it surgically removed. He is now being charged with having a concealed weapon. It was sure concealed …
The Plants Are Sharper Than The Humans
The idea of a guy shooting down a saguaro cactus just for something to do kills me, especially when the cactus fell on the shooter, killing him. Ha ha ha David Grundman and James Joseph Suchochi, but especially David Grundman, who shot the cactus and died. Those things can weigh 8 tons. Do you really …
Nuts Kicking Nuts
Good lord! That’s horrible! If you’re a man living in Langley, B.C., for the love of pete, shield your nuts! There’s a woman out there kicking random men in the balls so hard that one of them lost a testicle! She kicked them so hard, one went up in his abdomen and ruptured! And there …
It’s Finger Charrin’ Bad
Wholly fucking crap! That was my reaction upon readingthis,which could very well be the peak of the food feuds tag. The story goes that Mohamed Wahani asked roommate Sahal Said to buy some chicken for him. Said did, but he apparently bought a whole one instead of a quarter. This so infuriated Wahani that after …
And This Little Piggy Went Ow Ow Ow Ow All The Way From the Doctors
I know doing long long marathons can hurt the toenails, but do a lot of people really think of having them permanently removed? Ow ow ow ow ow! Acid poured on the nail beds? Ow oo ee eeee! I think the grossest picture is that of people who only have the mangled ones removed, so …
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When Ya Gotta Go, Ya Gotta Take A Zappin’
The city of Guelph where Carin and I live has been dealing for several years with the growing problem of the weekend bar crowd not bothering to find bathrooms and pissing or worse all over the downtown. One of the solutions, at least for a few weeks over the summer, was installing outdoor urinals or …
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