If Santa has a harder time than usual getting down your chimney this Christmas, this might be why. Gerard Krokus, an experienced skydiver, was helping Santa deliver the Elf named Kristoff to a nine-year-old girl while flying in toys to the Beach Bums Operation Santa Charity Volleyball Tournament on Saturday. In the video you can …
Category Archives: fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouch
It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Draws In Their Eye
When I heard about this woman and her eyeball tattoo gone wrong, all I could think of was this really old post. I guess this woman is really into body modification, i.e. adding and subtracting things from her body just for fun. She’s even had her tongue surgically split. Yeesh! So she thought tattooing the …
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Keister Surprise
I know in the grand scheme of things Kinder Surprise eggs are pretty small, but you know what’s even smaller? Your exit hatch. So the fact that now current Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre resident Damian O’Reilly seems to have set an unofficial record by managing to fit eight of them into his is, in its own …
I’m Afraid They Maytag Her As A Bad Parent
Whenever I think about this poor, poor kid, after I can let out my breath, all I can think of are two things. The washing machines in the apartment building are so deep that in order for me to reach the bottom, I have to almost climb in to get everything, so Steve helps me …
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Merry Scary Christmas
Steve told me about these painful-sounding Victorian Christmas parlor games and after I stopped wincing and covering my face, I started to envision what would happen if somehow, someone of that era could visit current day us, sort of like those old Freedom 55 commercials. I can see it all now. “You folks are wimps! …
Bare Spray
I read this story of a fellow accidentally spraying bear spray down his own pants, and I started wincing. I can only imagine how bad that must have hurt. I say this for two reasons: 1. because duh, it’s friggin bear spray. If just breathing it in would make a bear run away, then imagine …
Goodbye Philippines, And Everywhere Else, Too
There’s drunk, there’s really drunk, and then, apparently, there’s let’s hug this enormous New Year’s Eve firecracker as it’s about to go off drunk. A drunk man died after he embraced a giant firecracker called Goodbye Philippines as it was about to explode, health secretary Janet Garin told reporters. “His jaw was shattered. He was …
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There’s An Ear In My Beer
According to the complaint, officers were called Friday evening to a domestic assault on Seventh Avenue South. Upon arrival, officers met with Elrod and her husband. Officers noted in the criminal complaint that the husband was missing part of his right ear. During a search of the apartment, officers found blood as well as a part of …
CSL: The Chimney-Smoked Loser!
Soundtrack time. Years ago, I wrote about a woman’s body being found in a guy’s chimney. Now, I think I’ve found a freakier one. So the story goes that the owner of this house was gone when 19-year-old Cody Caldwell thought it would be a fine home to burglarize. But he wouldn’t smash a window …
Time For A Nice Cold Beer…Bottle
There’s doing stupid things when you’re drunk, and then there’s doing stuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid things when you’re druuuuuuuuuuuunk! A MAN got so drunk at a family gathering he ate a glass beer bottle, NT police say. Superintendent Louise Jorgensen said police and St John paramedics were called to a Wagaman home just after 9pm on Wednesday. The …