Last night I saw the new Maple Leaf Foods you can eat our meat again without being killed by listeriosis ad for the first time. It was pretty simple, a lot like the ones that ran right after the shit hit the fan. Company CEO Michael McCain calmly addresses us, letting us know that well, …
Category Archives: wording and grammar
I Like chinese…
this is why I will never, ever, ever, try to learn to speak any Chinese dialect. I would probably try to say hello, and I’d say the Chinese equivalent of “Fuck you.”
No Room at the Pub?
This is funny, but in the hideously bad sort of way. Jesus turned water into Stella, you say? I’ll have to remember that the next time Steve orders a Stella…or maybe the next time he just has water.
Failed Advertising
I’ve got a bunch of things that make me go “What the hell?” when I see them on the TV, so I thought maybe if I wrote them up here, somebody could explain them. either that, or everyone will be just as baffled as I am. they’re all TV commercials. Ok, in the first one, …
That’th Jutht Great, The Polithe Are Here. Thith Ith Going To Be Thuch A Meth
I understand exactly0% of the logic at play here.I also think somebody’s not being totally honest about his usage. A man removed his clothes in front of several children to “prove to his girlfriend that he wasn’t going to use methamphetamine anymore,” investigators wrote in charges filed Monday. The man, 26, was wearing only shorts …
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And With One Word, The Whole Mood Changes
This news story was a fine read, except for this sentence, which spoke to me in a louder volume than anything else the reporter could have said. Actually, it was only one word in the sentence. Can you find it? Diagnosing a child with autism is usually done when the infant turns two, but using …
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Everybody Loves A Happy Ending
Theredneckingest story in a long long time,the one about the Kentucky woman who’s trailer home was destroyed by a combination of an incompetent mover named Pancake and a stereotypical small town sheriff, has a happy ending. Donations from California billionaire Tim Blixseth and some other anonymous benefactors havepaid for a new single-wide mobile home for …
Yakedy Yak, I Love Yak Trax
Remember back when I talked about my quest for Yaktrax? Well, it came to an end in an unexpected way. The other day, the ice started to form. I think I first noticed it Monday night or Tuesday. I called the store I’d called before, the one who tried to sell me smalls when I …
Ragu…ooo…ooo…ahhhhhhh
Ok boys and girls, it’s time to play a nice game of how much innuendo can the newspaper cram into one story? Heh heh heh, I said cram… Our subject today is46-year-old Keith Roy Weatherley, who was stopped by police and observed with his noodle in a pasta sauce jar.This should be easy. A MAN …
Do You Ever Get The Uncontrollable Urge To Stab Somebody With A Spork?
I would never have thought a spork would be considered a deadly weapon. Never in a million years. I can barely spear food with one, and food’s already dead! But apparently Peter Albert used one to try to rob a guy of his watch. I guess he didn’t succeed, stabbed the guy with the spork, …
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