Pointless Bitchy Whining Of The Day

So as I said in my earlier post, one of the keys to blogging for me is to kill boredome. So this will do that for me and inflict it for you as I’m basically just going to whine like a little bitch with a skinned knee.

So I had an unpleasant laundry incident today. I was given the day off from class as my only one for the day was cancelled so I figured I would do my laundry to which I had tons. Now normally I do it on the weekend which seems to be the same time that everyone else in our building does it so it’s impossible to get a machine and you get the lovely people that will throw your stuff on the ground if you’re not there the second the buzzer goes. But today I walked in and it was empty (being a Wednesday afternoon I shouldn’t be surprised) so I thought I was in for a good day. I got 3 machines to myself which was going to certainly shorten the ammount of time I was gonna have to spend there. So I put it all through and then put it all in the dryers.
I went back to my appartment to wait and went back down to empty my 3 dryers. Still no one around. Awesome. No forced small talk and no guilt about using 3 machines. Not that that was a problem. There were like 5 more empty ones. I took all my stuff out of the first two with no problems and in unloading the third one I noticed that half the stuff was still wet. Not damp. Wet. So whatever. it’s piece of shit public machines – it’s not surprising. So I spent another 1.50 to put it through again and took the other stuff back to my room.
So I went back again and it was STILL wet. Not as bad. But still. So obviously I figured I’m not gonna pay again for it and took it back to my room and hung it up – but damn that pisses me off – especially when you’re paying out the ass to use it.
That’s it. told you it was pointless. Ha! That’s 5 minutes of your life you’re never getting back.

Steve. You Bitch

Fuck You Steve. Fuck you alot.

Seven Things I’d Like To Do Before I Die
1. 2012 London Olympic Games
2. See the Leafs win a Cup (might be the most unlikely on my list)
3. Attend a WM (had tickets to 18 but had to pass them off cuz of something I couldn’t get out of)
4. Visit NYC
5. work on the FAN590
6. Meet Justin Sane
7. Kick Steve in the stones

Seven Thing I Can’t Do
1. See the Leafs winning a cup in my leaftime.
2. stand Emo kids.
3. remember to update this page on a regular basis (luckily there are 2 talented people still doing it)
4. get too close to vomit. it creates a larger vomit problem
5. Believe it’s not butter.
6. stop ’till i get enough
7. wait to be king.

Seven Things I Like About Bloggin
1. Well with this blog in particular I can go months at a time without posting and it magically still gets updated. lol
2. it’s a place for those of us not talented enough to get writing jobs a place to still spout our worthless opinions.
3. Hate mail
4. Cures boredome
5. Somehow this has survived about 3 years now.
6. Ability to go back and see what was happening in the past.
7. It’s free!

Seven Things I Say Alot
1. No worries
2. Later dayzzzzz (don’t ask lol)
3. Steve sucks
4. Fuck Steve
5. Steve’s an ass
6. Steve the ass shoe
7. more random steve bashing

Seven Books I’m a Fan Of (this may be hard to fill)
1. Stupid White Men
2. Dude. Where’s My Country?
3. House Of Bush – House Of Saud
4. Lord Of The Flies (say what you want – a classic)
5. Go Dog Go
6. the Boy On Defense
7. 100 Reasons to hate Steve (Volume 1)

Seven Movies I Like Enough to Watch Over and Over
1. Clerks
2. Mallrats
3. Chasing Amy
4. Dogma
5. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
6. Clerks 2 (I assume. will know soon enough)
7. Robin Hood – Men In Tights

Seven People I Will Make Do this
I refuse to inflict this upon anyone else.

Guess that’s it. Once again. Fuck Steve.

Somebody Please Tell Me! Part II

Maybe I’m just bitchy today, but I saw something in my email that made me think about something else that bugs me to no end. I received an email message that said it was from Ron or Susan. Ron or Susan? So not only do I not know who’s sending email, neither do they! And when I write back, either Ron or Susan might reply. This might be fine if they were exact clones of each other, but they’re not! Maybe I like Susan but hate Ron. Or vice versa. What if I want to tell Susan how much I hate Ron. Do I want Ron seeing that? I don’t think so. What if Susan is shitty at telling Ron that Ron’s sick mom emailed to say get to my bedside now? Ron might never know that mommy croaked because Susan could see and delete his email before Ron had a chance to so much as read the subject line. Do you see my point?

My parents do this. they have one email account between them, and refuse to get separate ones because dad is afraid that we *might* not email him anymore if he had his own acount. So if I want to email dad and ask what mom wants for Christmas, I can’t, because mom might read the email. And I can’t ask him on the phone because they’re both on the phone too. Can’t people realize that they need a shred of privacy, even if what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours?

Somebody Please Tell Me!

What in christ is so good about the Barmitzvah Brothers? I don’t get it. Just listen! Listen and tell me what you hear! Does it make you want to remove all means of sound from your computer and go deaf? I have heard them on CD, I have heard them live, it all makes me gag, but all I hear on CFRU is everyone going gaga over them and raving about the next concert listing which involves them. Why! Why! Whyyyyyy!

Ya Think?

Well, excuse me for being a supreme asshole. Come listen to my story about a neighbour named let’s call her…Stupidhead. At first I noticed that she liked to smoke a lot. So much that it seeped into my house. Then I noticed that she had a lot of loud friends. I started to learn that these friends were…well..members of the more unsavory crowd. Some had just gotten out of jail, others were not below pulling a knife on Stupidhead, others liked to threaten to beat up her friends, and others were just plain crackheads! This parade of slime has been going in and out of her house for months now.

Now, yesterday, I hear, knock knock knock. it’s a distraught Stupidhead. She’s been robbed…again. This is the third time she’s been robbed in two months. She claims that the other two times she’s been robbed, they’ve climbed through her window, but she has not tried to lock all her windows. This time, the thieves meant business. Along with taking all of Stupidhead’s food, they also took all of Stupidhead’s money, which includes a couple months’ worth of rent…just before her eviction hearing. Hey Stupidhead, maybe instead of holding onto your rent money, maybe you should, um, pay the rent. Or at the very least, maybe you should put it in the bank. Oh yeah, despite the fact you’ve been robbed twice before, you still don’t have a bank account, and you put all your money in a hole in your mattress! Do you see, boys and girls, why Stupidhead is an apt name?

So, it’s very hard to have sympathy for her. She claims it’s all because she lives downtown in an apartment building with no surveillance. I have a better theory, chief. I think it’s caused by associating with slime! I have lived here much longer than her, and I’ve never had random thieves slipping through my window and stripping my house bare. The tenant she replaced, sob sob, lived here for upwards of ten years, and nothing happened to him. And I am to believe this load of crap? I don’t think so. Sure I think it sucks that all of Stupidhead’s food is gone. I think it’s a horrible lesson…oh wait, it’s not a lesson because she’ll never learn. She’s Stupidhead, remember?

Super 7

Carin did this and said I had to do it too, so here I go.

Seven things I’d like to do before I die:
1. Go to at least 1 WrestleMania or see 1 wrestling event in Madison Square Garden.
2. Spend some time working in big time commercial radio so that I can get a truly firsthand understanding of what it must feel like to be a disrespected, under-appreciated creatively handcuffed cog in a machine run by idiots who are always looking for a chance to “restructure” me out of the organization with little or no notice. Maybe then I could finally let go of that stupid dream and get on with my life.
3. Play in another band and get a chance to record something that I could actually be proud of.
4. Invent something that people take for granted but would find it hard to get through their daily lives without.
5. Work for myself doing something I love.
6. Have what some people like to call “fuck you money.”
7. Get the chance to explain to 1 specific individual how shittily she treats people and help her understand why manipulating those you claim to care about and doing nice things for others only when there’s some kind of self-benefit involved isn’t going to win her friends or help her keep the ones she has.

Seven things I can’t do:
1. See.
2. Drive. At least not legally or very well.
3. Truly enjoy vegetarian food.
4. Understand the appeal of a lot of what’s on TV these days.
5. Like most of the stuff that passes for music on hit music radio stations.
6. Not laugh at something even if it might not be the most appropriate time to do so. Ok, I can actually do that, but it’s not easy.
7. Chug a beer without stopping.

Seven things I like about blogging:
1. It’s great for people like me who aren’t smart enough to code an entire website by hand.
2. The idea that at any given moment, somebody could be reading something I wrote and maybe even enjoying it.
3. Getting hatemail and compliments from people I don’t know. Funny thing is that there’s actually less of that now even though more people are reading.
4. The ability to look back on things you’ve written months or even years after the fact and think about how much things have changed or stayed the same.
5. The only thing that can stop me from saying something is my own judgment. Ok, that and maybe a server outage or a legal notice.
6. Believe it or not, there’s actually a wee bit of money involved.
7. It’s a better way to channel your negative feelings than oh I dunno, let’s say killing people.

Seven things I say a lot:
1. Fuck that noise.
2. Not so much.
3. Are you high?!
4. I’m hearin’ your noise.
5. Well my friend…
6. I can’t be assed to do that.
7. You know…

Seven Books I’m a fan of:
1. Stupid White Men. Michael Moore can be a bit extreme at times, but like him or not, he makes some good points.
2. Arrogance. Again, Bernard Goldberg can be a bit extreme, but there are still some good points to be made here and it’s a pretty well-written book.
3. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
4. Braindropppings.
5. Napalm & Silly Putty. Yes, the last 3 are all by George Carlin.
6. 1984.
7. The Matarese Countdown.

Seven movies I like enough to watch over and over again:
Ok, I’m about to break a rule here. I’m going to do TV shows instead of movies. I’m doing this because I find that a lot of movies these days have a tendency to suck bowls of dick soup through a straw, and even the ones I’ve really dug can’t come close to Happy Gilmore for repeated watchability. So since doing a list of 7 that I claim to like that much would just be plain dishonest, the small screen it is.

1. Cold Case Files.
2. American Justice.
3. This Hour Has 22 Minutes. No matter who’s in the cast, it’s always been funny.
4. The Local News.
5. Cops.
6. To Serve And Protect. I wasn’t very nice to that show in the past, and for that I’m sorry. Definitely one of the best TV shows ever.
7. The Royal Canadian Air Farce. Not as funny as it used to be but still pretty great.

Seven people that I’m going to make do this just like I had to:
This is a hard one. Kind of makes me wish that I cared what other people thought about things. Ok, I’ll pick 2, and if anybody else wants to join in, you can feel free to send it to me and I’ll think about posting it for you, that could be fun.

Now for my victim…er…um…lucky friends.

1. Matt if he wants to. Do it man, that’ll mean all 3 of us will have done it.
2. Tim because he’s an interesting guy and I’d like to see what he might come up with.

Ok, I think that’s everything. I’m sure one of us will be back sooner or later with something, and until then, feel free to check out all of the new links we put up

Well, I guess I’m a sucker.

Thordora of the other vomit comit did this little questionnaire and asked me to do it too, calling me a sucker, so here goes. Hell, it gave me another idea for a post, so this should be fun.

Seven things I’d like to do before I die: Not like I like to think about dying, but…

see more of the world.
Meet the guy I tried to help come and study here. God that’s a long story.
Have enough money to be financially independent. Oh god I sound boring.
be able to have a kid. What is this, long story central?
Convince my Aunt and everyone else who is like-minded that my eyes are not clones of those of Stevie Wonder, and what worked for him will *not* work for me, but thanks for the thought.
Become less fucking confrontational.
tell at least one person who, for one reason or another, I’ve kicked from my life, why they’re on the wrong side of the door.

Seven things I cannot do:

drive
sing harmony
put up with bullshit from people.
stand on one foot (just ask my yoga teacher).
stomach vegan pie.
drink a ton without sounding like a blithering idiot (My sentences are startin’ to pop!).
laugh without waking the dead.

Seven things I like about blogging:

I get to write down whatever I want whenever I want without someone getting out the old red pen.
If something makes me really mad, I know I have an audience.
It’s cool to look back on.
Ya can’t beat the funky comments. (Hey Steve, how about some infighting?)
ya never know who you might meet.
Woohoo! A lot less html!
I always tried to keep a diary, it seems I’m a lot more consistent with a blog.

Seven things I say most often:

Murphy!
Fuck on a pole! (no it’s not what you thinkk)
Crap on a piss hell. Aren’t I an incoherent freak?
Wait a minute there chief!
Dude!
Freaky!
And here’s the weirdest one. Sa-boo! My strange way of saying Jesus Christ! God I feel like I live in my own little nonsensical world.

Seven books I have loved:

The Stone Angel. God Margaret Laurence could write sentences that could span the 401, but it did make me think.
Dolores Claiborne. I can never vacuum without thinking about that book.
Brave New World. Another make me think book.
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. You should listen to it in audio. Makes the Vogons much cooler.
Michael Crichton’s Sphere. The idea of twisting reality with your mind may be more real than we think.
John Grisham’s The Testament. Really shows how stupid people can get when they think they’re going to get a pile of dough.
And I guess this is an old favourite, feel free to laugh, Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery day. I can hear the cackles now.

Seven Cool movies:

The cackles can continue…Aladdin. I dunno, I just like the songs.
The Hours. Wow, didn’t the mood just go straight down the shitter?
Rain Man
The Green Mile (except for the part where they’re frying that guy without wetting the sponge. *shiver*)
Ghost (not for the infamous scene. Hey, I didn’t even know it existed until I saw it when I was older. I love mom’s description. Yep, they’re making pottery…and more pottery…and more pottery.)
Jumanji just because I kept hearing that one line in my dreams. “They grow faster than bamboo. Better run, they’re after you!”
Fried Green Tomatoes.

Seven more people. I don’t know if I can think of seven though.

Steve
Barbie
I really can’t think of anyone else.

Well there ya go, Thordora, I did it. I don’t know if you’ll be happy, sad, disgusted, or wishing you never asked. But the damage is done.

This Made Me Laugh

There is a knock on St. Peter’s door. He looks out and a man is standing there. St. Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears.

A short time later there’s another knock. St. Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears once again.

“Hey, are you playing games with me?” St. Peter calls after him.

“No,” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously. “They’re trying to resuscitate me.”

Who Put the Car in Career Fair?

Does this annoy you as much as it annoys me? I’m a university graduate. I’m looking for a job. I get an email and it says, “Guelph career fair.” I get excited! Woo! I can go and look at things. Then I read a little further down, and the damn thing is in Waterloo!

That’s about a half-hour’s drive, if you’re lucky, and there are only a few buses a day that would get you to Waterloo, and then I don’t know how you’d get to this stupid park where the thing is held. What? Are we all supposed to be able to drive? If I’m looking for a *job*, how would I afford a car, even if I could use one? And if it’s a Guelph career fair, why do all the employers have to go all the way to Waterloo? Are they trying to tell us something? Is there no work in Guelph? And, when did Guelph become part of Waterloo? How did I miss that? I must have been sleeping or something. Why can’t a *Guelph* career fair be held, um, in *Guelph*?