The Freaks On the Bus Go Scream Scream Scream

Wow. That was an interesting bus ride home. I’m glad I don’t live in the states, because maybe if I did, this wouldn’t be a happy post.

I’m sitting on the bus, well in the bus, because if I were on the bus I wouldn’t be on it for long. So anyway I’m riding the bus, and we come to this stop and this guy gets on, or should I say, puts his feet on the steps. ” Sir, sir, you need to stop that bus.” he says with a certain urgency. “Sir, tell that bus to stop! Sir!” The bus driver, confused, asks him what’s the problem. I’m thinking he must have a baby on that bus or something. He says, “I had a TV, a TV-VCR combo, and I left it on that bus! I don’t want someone to go home with it! You’re going to tell that bus to stop!” The driver gets on the radio and asks if anyone has a TV on their bus. The man barks, “TV-VCR combo!” He’s standing there, and the driver tells him he’s not getting a response. The man flies into a rage. “No, you can’t say it wasn’t on the bus! You can’t! You can’t say it wasn’t there it was there! Tell that bus too stop! It just dropped me off! Tell the bus driver to hold on to it for me. I can wait! Tell him to bring it back!” The bus driver asks him if it was a lady or a man bus driver. AT this point, our lune flies into another fit of rage. “What does it matter? I can’t remember! Lady or a man bus driver! I don’t know!” At this point, he’s leaning in towards the bus driver, the bus has been stopped through this whole escapade, and he’s bossing him around. “You tell that bus to come back! The one that just drove by! You tell him to come back and bring back my TV! My TV! You tell him to bring it back!” The bus driver is completely taken aback by this whole thing. he eventually tells him he cant’ help him, he’ll have to call transit and uses the doors to push him off the steps, or somehow makes him leave even though he didn’t want to, all the while, you can hear the guy going, my TV! The last thing I heard, which killed me was, “I spent $150 on that TV!”

I just couldn’t believe that, all over something worth $150 that *he* left on the bus because *he* screwed up. Now here he was stopping a whole bus, trying to stop another one and make it change routes, all because he left it on the bus! Some gall! Like get on the bus, ride down to the square and track down your TV there. I was just glad he didn’t have a gun, because he had enough rage that I thought he might have shot someone.

I’m Frightened

I had the TV on, and on came an ad for something called Fruit2O. It was apparently fruit-flavoured water that doesn’t have any juice and is 0 calories. They call it fresh-picked water. So what exactly is that? It says doing something good for yourself never tasted so good. But what exactly are you putting in your body?

This is the way I feel about it. Either drink water, or drink juice! If ya want water, drink water. If ya want something fruity, drink juice. At least you know that most of what you’re drinking is what it says it is. I was so freaked out that I went to their website. They say it’s water with “fruit escences” but they never explain what those are…and I haven’t found an ingredient list except that it has splenda in it, not sugar. They did make one good point. People with diabetes can drink this and it supposedly won’t mess with their sugar levels. Cool…but what is it? According to the website, it’s not sold in Canada yet. Maybe that’s a good thing. God, things are getting so weird now. We’ve got chemicals to wash our vegetables to clean off other chemicals, vitamins to take to undo damage of diet pills, and now water that doesn’t taste like water!

Well Whooda Thunk It?

Today I was running around doing errands, and since I’m hoping to graduate this year, I decided to tie up loose ends. I received a nice snippy email from the university that said, “well we’re acknowledging that we received your application to graduate, but don’t expect to be let out if you have any library fines, parking fines, outstanding fees at financial services, or any other crap on your record there young lady!” So I toddled over to the library to make sure I didn’t have any fines. I was pretty sure I didn’t have any, because the way I use the library is for journal articles most of the time, so it doesn’t require any books being taken out. But this nagging voice said, “You did take a couple books out, so you might have something, who knows.”

And ya know what? I did have a fine. Apparently two years ago, I was late to return a video. So they fined me 5 bucks. Thank god fines don’t accumulate interest. Otherwise I might have to pay a small fortune, after having paied a small fortune already.

I love how universities work. Everywhere else in the known universe, if you owe something, if you don’t pay it after a while, you get a friendly nudging letter saying, “Hey! Numbnuts! Pay your fine!” But not the university. It’s like they’re just waiting for you to not realize that you have a $5 fine so they can say, “you can’t graduate now, that’ll be $90 please, cha ching, ha ha ha ha ha.” I’m just glad I listen to my nagging voices. They just saved my butt.

Hey Big Spender!

I just heard the funniest thing on the radio as I was coming home on the bus. The local radio station is holding a contest where some DJ names a random product on the Mcdonalds menu, and if someone can remember it hours later, and calls in, they win…wait for it…dinner for 4 at Mcdonalds! Like holy man. I know Mcdonalds food is overpriced, but a radio station? Giving away dinner for 4 at Mcdonalds? What’s next, a Tim Horton’s coffee as the prize?

Hey, winning is cool. I’m just picturing this family going to Mcdonalds to claim their prize. Will they take it through the drive-through? I mean usually dinner prizes are to nice restaurants. So as a special occasion, you go out courtesy of the radio station. But Mcdonalds? What would make it even funnier is if it was a dinner for two at Mcdonalds. I can hear it now. “Have a nice romantic evening on us. We love to see you smile.”

Wow, That Sounds Like Fun

I’m so glad that my Sesame Street watching days came when the show’s creators still realized that cartoons could be educational and fun at the same time.

According to this story, the show’s new season will feature a new health craze that goes so far that Cookie Monster can’t even be Cookie Monster anymore because kids apparently don’t understand that a cartoon character eating cookies like a maniac isn’t real which would in turn send the message to them that they should be doing the same thing. And in related news, I just put a down payment on a new trash can so I can be just like Oscar the Grouch, because if he can live in one then dammit, why can’t I?

Seriously, where does this sort of stupidity end? Are they going to take Oscar out of his garbage can because it might send the message that homeless people who happen to live in one are pissed off all the time? Come to think of it, they probably are, but that’s beside the point. The point is that Sesame Street shouldn’t have to or even want to do this. I mean if you aren’t spending even the minimal time required with your own children to teach them the difference between real and pretend, then maybe you shouldn’t have any to begin with. It’s not Sesame Street’s job to raise your kids, it’s yours. and to me, if you don’t have time to do a little better than a half assed job of it, you don’t respect your children enough to miss them when somebody with more sense takes them away from you, so what do you care?

It sounds harsh I know, but I’m sick and tired of negligent parents blaming everything and everyone but themselves for how their kids turned out. I understand that there’s such a thing as outside influences, but Jesus Christ, do your parental duty and try your best to keep them in check and balanced out. You owe them at least that much.

I’ve Heard Of Stranger Things Than This, But It’s Still Weird

A man from Senegal has invented what he’s calling an automatic condom fitter that he claims will make it easier for guys to put on a condom without ruining the flow of the action and spoiling the mood. Mor Maty Seck, the inventor in question, also claims that with enough practice a man can use the device without the woman even realizing it. Uh…sure.

You can read more and even see a picture of this thing by clicking
here.

And While We’re at it…

When Steve wrote his Jehova’s Witness post, he reminded me of something I thought up a while ago. Do you ever wonder if the Jehova’s Witnesses were the ones who came up with the idea of telemarketing? Think about it. Telemarketers and Jehova’s Witnesses like to harass you in your home, particularly at times when they think everyone will be home. They both get rewarded for how many people they convert, whether it be to the Watchtower or to Sprint. They’re both very pushy and don’t take no for an answer very easily. Neither of them have much regard for holidays. By the sounds of it, both are pretty highly monitored, and get told what to do in a lot of respects. And some telemarketers even try and get your address so they can mail you an information package, where the Jehova’s Witness tries to leave behind a copy of the Watchtower! The more I think about it, the more it seems like they’ve been behind this all along. It’s been a big conspiracy. Anyone else convinced yet?