Oh My God!

On the news just now there was a story about jury selection beginning in Michael Jackson’s child molestation trial. the bulk of the report however focused on all of the fans who had come from far and wide to support him and to catch a glimpse of him. There was 1 guy from Tennessee who was described as a life long Jackson fan who actually quit his job and moved to California so that he could be there for the trial from beginning to end. I’ll let other people take care of making fun of him and instead I’ll just ask a question since nothing I could possibly say could be any more entertaining than what you’ve already read. What…the…fuck?

He’s Not Everclear But You Can Hear Him On The AM Radio

Tonight our good friend Roland from
Salty Ham
will be making his first ever radio appearance, cohosting the evening show on
SportsRadio 1310 The Ticket in Dallas Texas.

He’ll be on from 7 to 11 PM Central time which is 9 PM to 12 AM Eastern and you can listen live by going to the station’s website which is linked above
and again here.

Good luck to you my friend and remember, there’s no need to be nervous. Radio is exactly like carrying on a normal conversation, accept that there are microphones right in your face and thousands of people listening to you all over the state of Texas in their homes, offices and cars, and thousands more listening in via the world wide web. Other than that, it’s exactly the same. Seriously, it’s nothing to get nervous about. Just lighten up, be yourself, and have fun with it and you’ll be fine.

More Legalized Robbery

Well, a while back I bitched about how ya had to pay 30 bucks to graduate. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Maybe I should have been content with that amount.

Now I find out that, after I’ve put all this hard work into having a major in Psychology and a minor in French, all my certificate will say is “Bachelor of Arts, Honours.” No mention of my major and minor, specialization, what specialization. In order to do that, I have to pay another 80 dollars, $80! Yes, you saw that correctly. Near 3 times the fee for gown rental, the printing of the first parchment, a spot in the ceremony, just to print another parchment that shows my specializations. How about I save you the trouble, asshole. Here’s a pen. Just write on it major psychology, minor French and I’ll be on my way. What? You won’t? How about I just stand here and tell everyone else behind me in line about this disgusting robbery. How about I make your life a living hell until you do? Ok not that far, but it really pisses me off that I feel like they have me by the balls if I had any if I want something that reflects what I’ve worked for.

Here’s the second kicker. When I filled out the graduation application, it had a checkbox that said BA honours, Psychology french. Why do you care if you’re not going to put it on the fucking parchment?

And here’s the final one. They force you to declare a major at the very least. If you don’t, you have to be readmitted. And then at the end of it all, they won’t print it on the damn certificate? How hard is it to write a few more words on the damn parchment!

Believe me, I’m writing a letter to the editor of the student newspaper to this effect, only less peppered with swearing, but I don’t think I’ll make any waves. I’d like to believe I have power, but since I don’t know anyone in high places, I might as well either cough up the 80 bucks or get someone with a real good pen to make the changes for me. It just disgusts me, and even more disgusting is that they don’t make this fact widely known.

So if anyone’s graduating from college or university soon, make sure you know what’s going to be on your parchment. Don’t get cheated!

Pick up the Phone. No, Don’t.

I think it’s time for another lesson in phone ettiquet. After last night, I think it’s good to have a little preventative medicine.

Remember Steve’s first lesson? Well, here’s an adendum. There are certain times, after which, unless I’m expecting your call, please don’t do it. This is because I’m sleeping most likely. Ok, if there’s an urgent reason for your call, then by all means, call me. Or, if there’s something you just need to tell me, call me and leave a message and then, leave me alone until morning! 4:00 a.m. is not a swell time for a grand old chat, and it’s especially not a swell time to call me 9 times in a row over the course of an hour and a half! And if you really needed me that badly, it would be advisable to not leave me 3 rambling messages about how you just wanted to talk, and 4 hang up messages on my machine. Tell me what in the good holy blue hell is going on that would provoke you to call me 9 times in a row at such an ungodly hour!

Ok, class dismissed. I hope you took good notes.

Holy Pop-Ups Papa

Jesus! I went to a site that made my system make a similar sound to…hmmm…what couldI say? Bubbles in water there were so many pop-ups being blocked by XP! Let’s just say that I’m not getting lyrics from there. woof! If looking for french lyrics for a song, do not go to this page or if you’re up for testing your pop-up blocker, I’m sure it would do it. Yeesh! That was just weird.

I’ve had my Phil

I was sitting here eating my dinner waiting for the news to come on. Sadly for me, the show before the news is that disgustingly overdone Dr. Phil show. Not that I think that Dr. Phil isn’t good at what he does per se, although I find his television presence fake and insincere. he just doesn’t belong on TV. None of that counseling stuff does. Showing five minutes of work with someone and then clapping and saying, “next!” is the equivalent of those religious healer shows. Don’t expect a miracle there, Joe who’s screwing all the women in the neighbourhood because you went on Dr. Phil, he tapped you on the shoulder and said that ya have to stop. It’s going to take a lot more than that.

I don’t think the vast majority of the Dr. Phil worshippers, and I do mean worshippers, realize that it doesn’t all happen in five minutes, and if it is made to appear that it does, it’s a fake. I would hope that Dr. Phil does spend time with these people for more than just a brief interview before the show, and actually works with them…then maybe there is a shred of realism. But still, a bit of talking before the show is not going to cure a life-long or few year’s-long problem.

Then I see the people who come to Dr. Phil. They all say similar things. “Oh Dr. Phil, put my family back together.” or, “Oh I hope Dr. Phil can open my son up, find what’s hurting him, and remove it.” This is not a fucking carpentry show, or a surgery! You guys are going to have to take an active part in this and Phil can’t, and won’t do all the work. Thank god he sets them straight about that. But I swear, they come to him as if he’s the saviour. It’s disgusting.

And finally, it pisses me off. I want to go into the profession of Counseling. He makes it seem like what they do is a walk in the park, so easy, so quick. Bing bang bong your patient’s cured, next please. I don’t think so! I mean, I don’t believe what the psychoanalaysts say, that any problem will require years of therapy, years and years once a week, but I certainly don’t think any problem is fixed in a day. Or a couple. Oh they may think it’s fixed, but there’s bound to be backslides, and Dr. Phil just doesn’t make that seem like it exists.

And then there’s all the worshipping. They seem to think Dr. Phil is the temple. “Dr. Phil says…” “Dr. Phil thinks…” “You’re in psychology, you should read the Dr. Phil books.” No I shouldn’t! Why? Cause he’s full of shit. AT best, he’s another psychologist. he! Is! not! God! I don’t know how people can stand listening to him condescend to them. If my counselor told me I was thinking wrong, I don’t think I could hear the rest of what he was saying. At that point I have been belittled, and it’s natural for the defenses to rise. It’s one thing to point out things, it’s another to tell me that I’m basically stupid. And how so many people can respond to that kind of condescension is beyond me. Do they need to be told what to do?

And then, there are the psychiatrists that show up on shows and get five minute segments to talk about some disorder they think society is developing. There was one that came on and said that people were getting stressed about how many choices they had to deal with and it was bad. He talked about types of people. The “satisficers” that just took the first thing that came along, and the “maximizers” who tried to make the best possible choice and were being ripped apart. Suddenly my mom was trying to decide what kind of person she was, and started talking about how maybe she was depressed because of too many choices. I snapped right there. It’s a load of crap, and I told her as much.

I’m not trying to mystify the mind. I just know that if there was a new disease, first of all, they wouldn’t say anything about it for a while until they could have multiple reports from multiple doctors, unles it was SARS, but even that they were careful about how much they said. Second, no doctor would say that people had this stuff without lots of caveats. It could be caused by this or that. Why should our minds be any simpler? It’s as if anything of the mind is reduced to some light entertainment material. It just trivializes the whole thing, and at the same time, turns a whole bunch of people into self-diagnosers. Hey, I’m all about letting people figure out what’s wrong, but these psychiatrists spew a few random facts, and then act like they’ve told the whole story, and people believe them!

Woe, I think this is the longest post ever. All I’m trying to say is between Dr. Phil and these pop psychiatrists who try to make it seem so simple, it makes the whole thing so trivial and does more damage than good!

E Yes L


What is with this. Have you ever noticed this? People who have trouble with English, when they don’t understand, tend to just say, “Yes.” Has this happened to you? It happens to me, and it drives me nuts!

One day, I was walking to the bus, and it was colder than cold, so I didn’t want to stand at the bus stop. So I went in the shelter that was a ways back from it, and woohoo, there was someone else in there. So I said to her, “Excuse me, can you let me know when a certain bus comes in?” Without hesitation, the heavily accented voice said, “Yes.” So I stood there, she didn’t say much else, but that’s normal. Then the buses started coming in. She stood there, and stood there, and it seemed like amillion buses came in, so I started to get nervous. So I came outside and asked someone if the bus I wanted was in. They said it was, and led me to it. That woman still stood in the shelter, silent. Either that or she went for her bus, either way, she didn’t do what she said “yes” to.

That’s not the first time I’ve seen that. What is with that? Do people tell people who can’t speak the language, “If you don’t understand, just say yes, and they’ll go away.” What a stupid thing to learn! I was in Quebec in a part where the only English spoken was spoken by others who have come to learn French as they said goodbye to their parents…well, in theory. All the people who lived there spoke French. And never once when I didn’t understand what was being said, did I respond with, “Oui.” It just doesn’t make sense. It’s actually kindda scary. You don’t know what you’re saying yes to, maybe it was, “Do you want to go home?” “Do you think Quebec should leave Canada?” “Did you speak English while you were here even though you weren’t supposed to?” Why say yes? Say Pardon. Say I don’t know. Anything but yes!

It’s Kyle. What’s that?

I don’t think this strange name quite compares with people named little penis, oral sex, shit, or other Romanian varieties, but I saw someone who I believe has been cursed for life.
I got an email. IT said:

“Kyle will be handling donations. Please email her at…”

I did a double take. Kyle? Her? Perhaps someone was having a brain berp. But funny she didn’t apologize. So today, I meet this infamous Kyle. And it is a she! Who in their right mind would pop out a baby girl and go “Aww how cute. I think I’ll name her Kyle!” If she had a twin sister, would they name her Bob? Or maybe if she had a brother, he would be named Lynn. People who’ve read this blog a long time will understand that one. But honestly. I can understand Kyly, Kyla, and all that, but Kyle? That is a boy’s name! I swear in 50 years we’ll all have gender neutral names and we’ll always have to say Dear Sir/Madam if we have to write anyone we don’t know.