Chilling Thoughts

I don’t know why I find this so scary. But here we go. Off on another strange jog through Carin’s mind.

I had the TV on, and this commercial came on for this new weird thing that some company has that makes air fresheners. Anyway it’s a disk and you put it in this special machine and press a button and it somehow sprays out five different scents, a half hour for each scent.

Ok that doesn’t seem too weird. But here’s where I get kinda freaked out. They call it “scent stories”. And they talk about how they tell you a story with scents. Ok, no. it’s not a story without words, music, or at the very least, pictures. You cannot tell a story with scents, especially not one smell for a half hour. That’s one slow moving story. It would be like me sitting here for a half hour going “Once upon a time, once upon a time, once upon a time, once upon a time…”

I think this is the part where I got freaked out. Someone actually said on the commercial, “I never get bored.” Ok wait a minute. You can sit there and sniff the same thing for a half hour and not get bored? Maybe that smell is going straight to your brain. Maybe it’s not just a smell. Maybe you’d be just as amused by a show about rainforest animals viewed close up with a wide angle lens wearing hats. Ok South Park reference, but I think you get the picture. I just have to wonder, the really evil part of me, whether there’s something else in these scents that we don’t want to know about.

And here’s where it gets really creepy for me. It makes me think of the book “Brave New world”. Anybody remember the feelies? The mindless movies where the people could feel everything..and the scent organs played? And there was more emphasis placed on making the scent organs and the sensations good so the people wouldn’t think? Well now we have scent organs! Aaa!

I don’t seriously think air-freshener companies are out to brainwash us, but it sorta makes me go, what the hell? Am I going nuts? Will they be coming to take me away, ha ha? What do you guys think?

What The…?

I swear sometimes this site has a mind of it’s own.

After I posted my mall burping story I went to make sure that everything published correctly like I always do and I saw the site fixing itself. When I posted earlier the clock must have been messed up because it was about an hour ahead. No big deal, that’s happened before and who really cares if the time is exact anyway? But when I posted the mall thing the time was right and somehow the site realized that my newest post was posted, at least according to the clock, a few minutes before the previous one and it switched them right before my eyes so that they would be right. It’s nice to see the site doing something weird and that something being good for a change.

That’s A New One

The weirdest thing happened to me the other night at the mall when I went out with my friend so we could buy Christmas presents for each other. I know it’s January, but we don’t live in the same town, and anyway, that really doesn’t have much to do with the story.

So we’re walking through the mall at a pretty good speed when all of a sudden, some guy walking the other way comes right up next to me and burps in my ear. He sort of leaned in a bit when he did it too so I know it was directed at me and not just a general burp that happened to get away from him as he walked past us. After taking a second to think about it, I did the first thing I could think of, that being to turn around and say something like “thanks man, that was a good one.”

The whole incident took about 5 seconds and it was all done without anybody stopping or even slowing their pace, but for a 5 second moment in time, it’s sure stuck with me. I guess that’s because I’ve never had that happen to me, seen it happen to somebody else, or even heard somebody tell a similar story other than Matt’s old one about getting spanked by some guy at a hockey game. Maybe I never thought I’d be able to compete with that one, I guess I was wrong.

There’s Gotta Be A Better Way

Reno, Nev. – Police received a call for help from a 50-year-old Reno man who said he couldn’t stop bleeding from a self-castration operation. Police and paramedics responded to the call and took the man to the Washoe Medical Center. According to hospital officials, the man had administered a successful castration on himself thanks to directions he found on the Internet. The man said that he performed the castration in order to lower his libido. Lt. Ron Donnelly told the Reno Gazette-Journal that “The man obviously needs some sort of counseling.”

Ya think?

Dinner Rolls Are Too Big

So this guy goes to see his Doctor to complain about his erectile difficulty. He tells the Doctor that this isn’t a normal problem. It’s really really bad and none of the traditional pills or medicines has worked yet. Not even the world famous Viagary. He’s looking for something a bit more unconventional now.

The Doctor tells him that there is this new treatment out but it’s still in it’s experimental stages and the man probably wouldn’t be interested yet.

Desperate for anything, the man disagrees. “Please” he begs “I have a new girlfriend and this has been just terrible and I’d like to be able to have some fun with her. I’ll try anything.”

“Alright.” the Doctor says and begins explaining the treatment to his patient. “what we do is take the muscle from a baby elephant’s trunk and implant them in to your penis and hope that they take hold and serve the same purpose as the typical penis muscles.”

The patient eagerly agrees to go through with it as he has no other options anymore. He goes through with the surgery and a few nights later he’s out with hsi new girlfriend having dinner. She’s wearing an unbelievably sexy outfit and he can feel some movement in his pants. He begins to feel pretty confident that this new treatment is going to work for him and he’s anxious to get home with this girl to try it out, but for now he has to get through dinner.

They continue talking and the movement and growth in his pants continues to the point where he has to reach down under the table subtly and undo his zipper to relieve some of the pressure. A few moments later, their conversation is interrupted when his penis quickly reachs up through the zipper on to the table, grabs a dinner roll and dissapears back in to his pants.

the two people sit stunned at what just happened. The woman after a few minutes of silence finally says “Wow. That was pretty impressive. Do you think you could do it again?”

The man sits for a moment before finally replying “Well, I think so…. but I’m pretty sure I can’t fit another dinner roll up my ass.”