I Guess It Beats Repeatedly Asking "Do You Love Me?"

Oh lord. Now we have a mobile service in Korea grading a caller’s sincerity level. They’ll even send the person paying for the service an analysis of the conversation, broken down into affection, surprise, concentration and honesty.

Part of me wants to see how well this works, and part of me wonders how many Korean relationships are about to go straight down the shitter.

Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, Oh, What Intense Pain It Is

Hey there Chrystal Kolinski! Explain something to me. Please explain this, because I cannot wrap my head around it. If you met a random man in an adult video store, and you became friends with him, and he kept asking you to drink some random fluid and capture you on film doing it, wouldn’t you ask more questions? Questions like “What’s in this shot?” or “Can I see the videos of the other people who drank it?” spring to mind for me. If you thought of it as a “hitch” and you eventually did it to “shut him up,” didn’t you know it was wrong? Do you not obey your gut instinct? Well you should have, because now you have no gut. Yes, that was mean. Mean, but accurate.

Ya wanna know what she drank? It was caustic fluid. Ya know, sodium hydroxide! Still mystified? How about drain cleaner! That clear things up for ya?

I don’t know why I read this story and feel this bubbling, boiling anger that this even happened. Hmmm….interesting that I chose the words bubbling and boiling, because her digestive tract probably did a lot of that that fateful morning.

The Secret To Our Success

Well, I think Mushers’ Secret is already a success! We went on our first walk with it, and it worked like a dream! Trixie was steady, confident, fast but safe, and she went through salt and barely yeeeped! I think it was a yip in anticipation of pain, because after I wiped her paw, she walked through the same patch and not a peep out of her. I think this stuff is what I’ve been looking for. Go Mushers’ secret!

I Offset, Therefore I’m not

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about the concept of carbon offsetting. In case you’re not familiar with what that is, it’s basically a system that allows businesses and individuals to contribute financially to environmental projects such as forestation and renewable energy initiatives to compensate for things they’ve done that are considered detrimental to the planet. Essentially you do a bad thing, then help out with a good thing and the bad thing is cancelled out, hence the term offsetting. People seem to be all over this idea, treating it like the greatest thing since sliced bread. By the way, what was sliced bread the greatest thing since? Unsliced bread? Sliced meat? Fire? An answer would be nice.

But back to the matter at hand, I don’t understand how this offset credit deal is supposed to work. Where else in life does this logic apply? If you kill a guy but save somebody else’s life on the way to your murder trial, are you free to go? No, you’re not. If you rape somebody but also volunteer at a centre for abused women, does the rape not count? Yes, it does. So how is it then that spewing hundreds of tonnes of chemicals into the air on a daily basis can be undone by forking over a few bucks to a guy with a truck full of seedlings and windmills? That’s right, it can’t.

I wish people would do a little bit of critical thinking before buying into such a fundamentally flawed idea, but I suppose that would be a lot more difficult than throwing money at a problem to create the illusion of doing something while not having to put effort into making real and lasting changes.

More Things And More Stuff

Wow. Two random thought posts in one week? That doesn’t happen very often. Off we go.

Last night, we were doing the old flip around the music channels thing again, aren’t we predictable? This time, what grabbed our attention was an English kids’ song. It sounded like that song “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round”, with some improvised changes. Ok, fine. But the ending killed me. It seriously said “the bus on the bus goes bus bus bus.” What? What does that even mean? I know kids’ songs have some jibber in them, but that’s just ridiculous. And then we wonder why kids are getting dumber. Nothing designed for them has any messages anymore. It’s just meant to keep them busy and out of the way.

I know no one except people who live in the Guelph area will get this, but oh well. Does anyone else think that the radio commercial for Barry Cullen silverado is saying “great fuckin’ name”? I know it’s great truckin’ name, but I always think the other. Maybe I’m just demented. Yup, probably that’s it. But I’ve managed to spread my dementedness to friends, and they want to sing it my way too.

I had two dreams I wanted to write up here because they’re just weird. One dream I had months ago. I dreamed I was having trouble with Trixie, and I called Chuck, the field rep. After explaining all my difficulties, he said in his calm, teaching voice that he has, “Well, there’s only one thing to do. You have to turn Trixie in at the police station. We’ll come pick her up there.” I cried, and cried, and cried, but that’s what he said I had to do. So, off to the station I went. When I got there, and tried to turn her in, I couldn’t let her go. I cried some more. It was like an unending stream of tears. I finally handed her over, but through some kind of slight of hand, I got her back, and walked out of the station with her! Once I realized I’d gotten away, I just ran faster, hoping they’d never figure it out. They never did. Weird dream.

The other dream I had just happened a couple of nights ago. I dreamed that I ran into a rabid dog. But it was the weirdest rabid dog ever. It just stood there growling and foaming. It didn’t lunge, bite, or anything. It just stood there as if it was frozen. I had time to run and get someone, tell them to get a gun,and come back, and there it stood, gurring and foaming still. That was just strange. It must have been because of my post about the rabid puppies.

I’ve bitched about my computer so many times on here that I can’t think of one particular post to link to. I just know that ever since this computer was brought to me in November of 2004, it has sucked. Even with a windows reinstall and the addition of a decent sound card, it has continued to suck. You know it’s a screwed up computer when a good tech stares at it and says, “Uh, any ideas on how this thing opens?” Now, hopefully, its woes are over! Why? I have more ram for it!

You wouldn’t believe how much of a difference some more ram can make. Now, when I leave it alone and come back, it just pops back into action. There’s no five-second drag and another few seconds when I change windows. Yea! It might make its final year and a half without hobbling!

My Mushers’ secret arrived my Mushers’ Secret arrived my Mushers’ Secret arrived! Can you tell I’m happy? So far, it’s already seeming like more of a success. When I put it on her, she doesn’t try to run away from me in disgust. She just lays there and lets me rub it in. Plus, her paws already feel softer. Hopefully this does the trick! I’m running out of options, so this had better do it!

I noticed something weird at the bottom of a spam. I forget why I read a whole spam the other day, but I did. At the bottom, it said that Norton had scanned this email and all attachments, and no infection was found. Well, that’s what it tried to say, but it spelled things wrong. Apparently Norton folks can’t spell, and were completely fine with saying that “noinfection was found.” Or, maybe the spammer was writing a fake virus-free certification. Yeah, I’ll go with that one. This is why those stupid “no viruses found in this outgoing email” things are useless. Everybody, get your own antivirus solution and don’t trust other people’s.

And that’s about it. Hopefully you enjoyed my random pile of thoughts.

Send This On To Ten People…And Regret It!

This is beautiful in a Craig Shergold sort of way, only better.

Apparently, about 3 years ago, an email started circulating about a poor little boy with a tumour encroaching on his juggler, hahahahaha you mean jugular? Nope, it says juggler vein. The email asked people to pray for him, send the message on, and when it got 1000 names, send it back to an address so they could show the boy how many people cared for him.

Well, in its travels around the net, it landed in the inbox of one Peggy Lesley. Peggy decided to send it on, but as she did, she left her signature at the end. since the original email was pretty light on details while it talked about juggler veins, people assumed that Peggie Lesley must be the original sender. And this is where it gets fun.

“I wish I would not have sent that e-mail,” Peggy Lesley said. “I can’t take it back now. It’s everywhere.”

“People are e-mailing me. They’re asking me questions about this child,” she said. “I had some woman call me who said, ‘I had a brain tumor and this is how I got rid of it.'”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I wish that happened to more people who send out chain emails. If it did, it would cut back on the bull that circulates on the internet. People would be more likely to do their research and determine whether a given email asking for help is a cause that has a root in truth, is a hoax, is something that was true years ago but no longer is, or what before slamming forward, shoving their whole addressbook in there with no regard for privacy of the recipients or authenticity of the story, and hitting send. “Hell, what could it hurt?” they think. Ask Peggy Lesley what it can hurt.

I wonder if she’s still fielding calls and emails. I guess she is, since the Snopes story was last updated February 13. It does illustrate one thing. Forwards get around easily. It’s just sad that whenever that ability manifests itself in a powerful effect, it’s usually a negative one.