Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Wow. We have now found out that our anesthesiologist prick with too few needles didn’t use the same needle. He used several, and used them over and over and over. And that makes it sooo much better.
We do have his name now, though. It’s Dr. Harvey Finkelstein.
Wow. This is just dumb. Police are looking for Anthony Johnson, a black dude. Somehow, they get his license number mixed up with that of Andrew Johnson, a white dude, and Andrew Johnson gets grabbed.
He’s released, but his license is suspended until he can prove that he isn’t Anthony Johnson! Hellooo! How hard is it for the police to just realize it’s an oops? In the meantime, the guy can’t drive anywhere, and has to be driven by his mom.
Here’s something else equally scary. The police department has an entire “it’s not me” unit to deal with mistaken identity cases, and this unit usually takes 3 weeks to fix a mistake. Christ! How many mistaken identity cases are we dealing with here?
I’m still amazed that they consider the burden of proof in the case of a mistaken identity to fall on the victim. In this particular mistaken identity, the one they want is black, the guy they got is white. Can’t they bend the rules a little and just clear the poor innocent guy?
What the? Some stuff is just too funny. I first read this, thought this wasn’t bloggable, but couldn’t stop laughing, showed it to Steve, and we both couldn’t stop laughing. Ok, ok, it’s going up here. I think this rivals our bongo drum Teddie-bear shrine-creating burglar of last November.
Just picture the complete suckery that a day like the one described in this story would entail. It definitely outsucks subjecting your taste-buds to a vegan brownie!
Man is mugged at gas station, man chases after mugger in his car, man gets out to chase him on foot leaving keys in ignition, completely unrelated men steal his car!
I definitely wouldn’t want to be the mugger he was pursuing, because if the man caught that guy…well…the rage of having his car stolen might take over and that mugger might receive all of it, and that would be a lot of rage.
My mom used to think I was weird because I figured out a system where I could calculate what day of the week a given date was in a certain year. um, er, I think I’ve been beaten. I would be arrogant to even say that if you could quantify our weird abilities, that that little trick of mine would be the 13th route of his number-crunching powers. And I’m not even that good at it anymore.
I’m going to look like a conspiracy theorist, but this is just weird. A bunch of Washington scientists built robo-cockroaches and sent them out to see if they could infiltrate and influence real ones. They had to spray them with pheromones to fool the little crawling critters, but they did it. They say it’s to study the leaderless group behaviour of cockroaches. Is there a bigger picture here? I’d like to think that we’re harder to fool than a cockroach, but….you never know.
Gees, with the amount of money people pay to have desserts at this eatery, you’d think the eatery could afford to call an exterminator. Nope, so it’s shut down. No one will be buying $25000-sundaes anymore. Jesus! $25000? Why? You’re going to eat it! I know it has eddible gold and the finest cocoa, but…you’re just going to eat it! I like to have something to show for it if I pay $25000 for something. People who can afford to have these things, can I borrow your wallets?
*shiver* I’ll never think of pool drains the same way. Some of them have the power to suck your intestines through your ass? Ugugugug!
What do you think you are going to find in a jug of egg nog? Since it is *egg* nog, I would think a reasonable person would deduce that it contains eggs. Am I wrong? Apparently, I am, and the poor folks at Smiling Hill Farm have to hand-stick labels on all the caps on the jugs of egg nog telling people it contains eggs so their product won’t be recalled. The FDA says it has to clearly say the product contains eggs, so folks allergic to eggs won’t buy it.
It’s egg! nog! If you’re too stupid to realize that egg! nog! contains eggs, maybe you should take a good ol’ slug of it, see what happens, and smarten up.
I hope I never need some kind of emergency ambulance transport across the border. If I do, I hope the ambulance carrying me doesn’t get stopped by Customs Officers, like happened to poor Rick Laporte. The man had a heart attack, needed emergency angioplasty, and the closest place to go was Detroit. His heart stopped twice on the way, and he needed to be revived. But despite being given a police escort, the Customs nimrods flagged the ambulance over, asked the driver to get out, then asked him to open the back door so the dying man could verbally confirm his name!
What would these assholes have done if this guy had suffered a stroke rendering him speechless? What if he was unconscious? Idiots! Idiots! Idiots! With all the keenness for tasers lately, I wish the cops had used one on that moron. The man’s dying, get out of the way! Bzzz!
Lucky for these imbeciles at the border, Mr. Laporte made it to the hospital, and is recovering. I still think someone should sue the bastards. Come on, guys, use common fucking sense. It’s an ambulance with a police escort! Get out of the goddamn way!