Vomit Comet

It’s Saturday! We’re really at the midpoint. This morning, we have obedience and relieve and then wait for the rest of us to get our mid-class interviews. Then it’s lunch and in the afternoon, we go over the schedule for next week and do a bus to lounge route. Now I’m excited about those. It’s pretty cool.

I’m so happy. My resume is sent off and not one, but 2 people were impressed with it. Yeah! I have a sporting chance at this job.

This morning has been pretty relaxed, which is pretty cool. Elizabeth, the head honcho of dormitory services, came by, took our orders and gave us a survey about the service, which was awesome, and the computers and what we use. I basically had my hand up for most of the computer stuff. Pretty cool.

Man, Carmen still plays the song. I’m going to hate that tune.

I finally had my mid-class conference thingy. They said I was doing fine. Trixie wouldn’t behave, but I got her to calm down eventually. I mentioned some screwy streets I have that I wanted some practice with. They were cool with that. It was actually pretty quick and painless.

Then Autumn and I took our puppies to the grass paddock. Since we can only go in one at a time, poor Trixie had to wait her turn. She’s funny. You can only get her going if you clap at her. And then, oh then.

Wow, I actually have time to think.

Man, the organ-player makes me feel like I’m at a funeral. Ok, gonna send emails now.

Well, that afternoon was a little, um, disconcerting. We walked from the bus to the lounge and I screwed up two crossings. One she wouldn’t cross and I was all screwed up in terms of alignment. Then when I had to turn, I got all turned around. Ug. Needed help both times. Then when we were going back to the bus, she was all weird and then we had trouble crossing a couple of streets and then she blew a down-curb! Raaar! Well I guess it’s meant to happen here.

I brought her out to relieve but all she’d do was pee. I fed her and something told me to bring her out again, and she pooped. I don’t know how the instructors sneak out without me noticing, but as soon as she dropped the present a voice from overhead said, “She went no. 2.”

Poor Sylvia. Estelle keeps pooping on route and if they can’t break her of it, she won’t make it as a guide. Poor woman. I don’t know what they’d do then, but it’ll be interesting to see how it turns out.

I got her all groomed up, and Autumn’s happy because she finally got Beauty to play with her tug ring. She threw it at her and then she started chasing it. Pretty cool. I wonder if Trixie will do the same. She’s on tiedown, she collapsed there.

I picked up her first dose of heartguard so we can protect Trixie-poo from heartworm. That’s tomorrow. Then we started watching Beethoven but we didn’t finish it before relieving. I’ll probably not see the end. Sniffle sniffle.

Collapsing now.

Woosh! What a rough start to the day. I woke up at midnight last night to weaping and sputtering of the words “I’m really sick. I think it was something in my food. I’m shaking. I’m throwing up. I can’t miss a day. I don’t want them to take her away!” Groggily, I thought she was talking to me, so I got up and came over to her bed. I told her they weren’t going to take her dog away. She just kept sobbing. I asked her if she wanted me to get the nurse. I heard, “yes.” Then I realized that the nurse was gone at 10. So I asked if she wanted me to phone an instructor. I heard, “I think so!” Then I heard extra things and realized she was on the phone to her mom. I called the instructors anyway and got Jen. She came over and got Autumn some pepto and some juice and filled up her mug with water. I never mentioned that we get to take home a travel mug. How cool is that? So anyway I tried to stay up with her for a while, but my body told me that I must sleep, and sleep I did. I woke up at 5:45 and had the usual shower. God damn it, the last couple of days the showerhead has been pelting me. I felt like Kramer in the elephant shower, you know when he felt his shower wasn’t strong enough so he bought the elephant washer? No matter what I did, it was coming at me strong. What a way to wake up.

So after I get ready and feed and relieve puppy, Autumn wakes up and says that she’s going to try and go to school, even though Jen told her not to worry about it and that they’re not going to take her dog away. These people are wonderful. If I can, I’m going to donate to the school. Just a little money to them every so often. I think every single one of the staff deserves an award. In fact, I’m going to ask someone if they can be nominated or something. They do so much for us. Anyway, she soon realizes that since she’s been up getting sick in various ways until 4 a.m., she’s too tired and weak.

So I go after feeding and relieving to the computer lab in a mad rush to fix my resume, and manage to butcher it something fierce. Craig was in the room and I’m freaking out. I said I’m going to freak out and he said “well if you do, let me know so I can leave the room.” He kept saying things look better after breakfast. I wouldn’t believe him. I eventually had to go and eat breakfast.

The main breakfast didn’t sound good, so I asked for oatmeal. I was so focused on the resume that I ate the oatmeal with a fork. Way to go, way to look like a total tool. After breakfast, I ran to Amy, Amy my hero, and asked her how you fix various formatting styles. She said, “Oh crap. I don’t know.” Then she said, “I’m going to tell Carmen that I’m not singing in the song anymore, and Al doesn’t want to play anymore because he needs to focus on the dog.” I immediately realized that if Al’s not playing, I’m not singing this thing. So we all backed out. It was really getting to be too much. I forgot to mention that when I woke up yesterday morning, the first thing I hear is “Twinks, we have to rewrite a line!” This is after I’d printed it out in three different sizes and was going to braille it. I held my breath and said, “You’re lucky I hadn’t manually brailled it, or I would kill you right now.” I hate the way she calls me scribe and says, “Rewrites have to happen sometimes, that’s the way it is.” Not here, not now, Carmen. You wanna rewrite it, do it yourself. She was slowly killing the joy of the song, and I didn’t want that. I asked Amy if she wanted me to go with her and tell her, and she told me to worry about my resume. I love all these people. I really do.

I ran to the computer and emailed Steve and asked him to send me some lessons I have at home on Microsoft Word, and Steve, my hero, did it! Thanks to him, I believe my resume is successfully tweaked. I’m going to have someone look at it, but I believe it’s ready to be seen.

We did obedience out on the graduation stage while they held food and a crazy large mastiff barked and ran around.

Then we relieved and loaded up, but before I had a chance to load up, I was whisked away for grounds orientation and an intro to…dum duh dum dum, the grass paddock!

Wow those paths are confusing. I’m going to have a peek at the map to keep them straight. She had fun in the paddock. I’m going to invest in a flexi-lead so I can watch that amount of joy. She came back and everything. What a doll.

Then I went to town, and we went into a little cafe, not Starbucks, but another one, and had some hot chocolate, which I managed to spill on my shirt, damn it! The little girl was a little angel, minus a couple slip-ups, especially the one where she tried to drink out of the gutter. We came back to the lounge and she lay quietly while I successfully fixed my resume and breathed a sigh of relief.

Did I mention Dynamo is much better? He seems to have gotten over his extreme need to pee. Poor Sedgey on the other hand may need surgery on his paw. they’re still soaking it, it had some kind of cyst.

So after the route, I came back to the dorm and quickly groomed my pooch and wiped off some toothpaste that I apparently got on her muzzle. Woops. Oh I forgot to mention that when the O and M lady was driving me to the lounge after my little play session in the grass paddock, silly little Trixie thought my lap would be a fine seat for her. Silly scoundrel.

After grooming, we went to lunch and lunch was delicious. Then I came back here and waited for Sue…Sullivan? to come and ask us what our shopping orders were. I didn’t have any, but Autumn did, and she wanted to make sure she didn’t sleep through the knock. Sue is hillarious about not showing her emotions through her voice but being smily and all that. Yesterday, when we were trying to get ready for pictures, I was trying to help Autum with the back of her dress. Just at this moment, Sue…Sullivan? was knocking at the door and we were laughing and then Autumn had to quickly cover up to answer the door and then she went and answered it and Sue…Sullivan? was all smiles, but spoke in her usual serious tones.

Then it was 1:30, and we found out that today was the day we pick up their poopies. Yea poopy pick-up practice. I felt bad because the bag dispenser was right outside the doors where you leave to go relieve, so I was reaching out to find it and inadvertently slugged Jen who was standing there supposed to be tapping it. Oops. I womped her a good one too.

So after relieving, we did our second bus to lounge! I was actually excited about this one! We got out at Bank of America and we had to sit there and wait our turn because the bus couldn’t park there. We did the staggered leaving thing and walked 5 blocks down to the lounge, and she did it flawlessly. We met our first completely rude, overbearing, clueless person. She was getting on the bus and the whole time was bellowing about how our dogs shouldn’t be out in the sun and that the lady in the green had to move her dog so she could get on the bus. We had no idea who the lady in the green was so we just had to move everyone down. I was the last one to go, since I was the final time-keeper. We got back, and I was never happier. Trixie, apparently, was exhausted.

She did one squirrely thing on the bus. I got up and she started skittering like mad. Then she refused to heel! It was like she was scared stiff of something. They said maybe I stepped on her, but I don’t think so. She’d tell me in a yipe if I stepped on her, she’s just that way. But twice, when leaving the bus, she started skittering! I really wondered what I’d done.

I got off the bus and managed to weave my way through the course. Now that I know that even if you hit the bumps with your heels it’s not too late to make your turns, it’s not so bad! We wooshed through and headed in to relieve. We’re back early because it’s mid-class interview times. I’m waiting for that now. My beast is fed. I’m going to write a cover letter to go with this resume, and before the night is out, it will be winding its way through cyberspace.

I had a minor breakdown when it was time to relieve. The instructors had been a bit cranky with me, and I took this as a sign that I wasn’t where I should be in my training. Audrey said nno, they’re just tired, that’s all.

One cute thing I don’t think I’ve mentioned: My puppy, when in harness, without tbeing taught to, will find *my* chair! She finds it every time and drops me on the right side of it. The first couple days she didn’t, but now she does. What a doll. I love this pooch more and more every day.

Oh, I met the infamous Bryan Francis today at lunch. It’s weird listening to a voice you’ve only heard on tape. He seems llike a sweet man.

So it’s almost supper time. Someone in the retrain class loves the organ. He made his song this morning fit the mealtime chimes.

Poor Autumn’s still laying in bed. I’m worried about her. I don’t quite know if she knew what she was in for.

I’m amazed at how well Carmen took the news that we’re not doing the song. I still want to talk to her and urge her to put the words in the program for the graduation because they’re cool words. There’s just no way we had patience for this level of rehearsal. It just wasn’t happening.

Holy shit Deborah just got her tags. I forgot she was leaving tomorrow. One week of training and then in-home training. Um, that’s when you know a person’s had a lot of dogs.

I wonder if anything else is going to happen today. It just feels like an eventful day.

Got my resume written and sent off! Then collapsed. It’s nice to hear two people say they liked my resume and “would hire me”.

Man a lot is happening today. Morning is lecture, then we’re going to town and we’re having…half of us get to have traffic checks and the other half work to a store. Then I assume more of us get to free run our dogs. Then it’s lunch, picture day, then we get a bus to the lounge route I think. Then it’s the dinner stuff and at some point we need to decide where we’re going and who is going. I also have to braille out those words at some point. Another week almost over. Food sounds good to me this morning. Some kind of cool muffins, cheeseburgers and fries, and for dinner, pepper steak. Mmm. I’m such a weirdo, writing about food.

Apparently I talked in my sleep last night. Autumn asked me this morning if I was on my phone. Um, nope. I lay down pretty early, Shortly after 9, and I wasn’t talking to anyone. Wonder what I said. She doesn’t know, but she said it sounded pretty coherent. Um, yikes. Well almost time to scarf a yummy breakfast.

Breakfast was good. We had our morning route where a car driven by someone we have affectionately nicknamed Paulo the Stalker chased us and showed us what it’s like when cars cut us off, come at us, chase us from behind and what our dog’s response would be. Mine was a beautiful little angel. I came back and we had lunch…what was it? Oh a cheeseburger. And pecan pie for dessert. I felt like such a whale.

After lunch, I put on the pants I’m going to wear to the graduation and a white shirt. Oh yeah did I mention this morning we had to strip our beds? So I come back to get dressed and there’s the new pile of linen. So I get into my picture outfit and we head down to the picture. The guy who takes the pictures is hillarious. he barks and whistles at the dogs until he gets their attention. it’s beautiful. It didn’t take long with my curious little woofer. So then we got a group picture, and I found out the coolest news! We can get them on CD! That means I can email them! Yea email pictures!

So after that’s all done, we run back, get changed, relieve woofers and head to…gulp…our first independent travel. I’m thrilled to bits that we’re doing it, but it’s still stressful the first time. As soon as they said that they’d be stationed along the way but we were travelling alone, I suddenly felt the immediate need to use the john. Tough beans for me. So they sent each of us off at 3-minute intervals. Wow was that ever cool! They gave us a preset route that would take us from where they parked the buses to the lounge. Finally, the lounge wasn’t a place to wait to go out! It was a destination! What a concept! I got there, and the only thing that went wrong was one up-curb getting blown. But that’s a hell of a better ratio than it’s been, so I’m happy. When we got to that broken sidewalk, and you could hear the loud phone from the tire shop, I was ecstatic. Evidently, so was Trixie. She picked up the pace about 3-fold and went for the door with all her might. Yeah! Success! I walked in and Carmen was there and a couple others. Finally, I could use the john!

Oh, we made a new word, snop. It’s sniff and stop. So if the dog stops to sniff a bush, we joke that they snopped.

Three things she did today that were absolutely hillarious. First, she must know the meaning of “I forgot!” because when I was in the foyer and realized I had no kibble, I said, “I forgot!” and before I could heel her around, she made a complete U-turn. Trixie, are you learning English?

Second, I was trying to get her rug so I could put it back down post-feeding, and the empty dish fell almost on her head! But instead of being scared, she just sniffed, licked me and wagged her tail!

Third, I was playing with her and I lay down. She did two circles of me, must have thought I was dead, and ran away to her tiedown area. As soon as I got up, she came over wagging her tail like mad. It was cute. She actually asked if she could be put on tiedown now, she’s that exhausted. She went over there and lay down. Ok, as you wish.

Carmen is demanding a rehearsal. must go to that, but I’m not staying long, I don’t have the desire. Listen, Carmen, we don’t need to practice the song this much. Autumn’s like screw it, I don’t even want to sing it anymore. I didn’t stay long, then I went, large printed the words, got my resume, tweaked it and am going to have someone look at it. Everyone is so cheering for me. They’re so cute. My poor doggy was so tired that she didn’t even get excited when I brushed her teeth.

Craig is a strange flirt. He was talking about massages and the guy who comes around who you can pay for a massage if you want one. I made my usual comment about how it would weird me out if a stranger massaged me. He started asking me what if it was a tall, dark, handsome stranger? What if he was a tall, dark, handsome stranger who was special to you? I’m like um then he wouldn’t be a stranger would he? And then he started making random references to..well, the professional may be all booked up but if you want an amature…Eeewww. That’s disgusting.

I think that’s about it. As usual, I’m late for hitting the pilow. 9:30 is late now. Ok then.

It’s another Wednesday. Man where is time going? I hope we start picking up poop soon, I’d like to get it down. She’s back on the regular food, at least I hope she’s supposed to be, because I gave her the regular food this morning.

I got an email saying that someone was looking for a person to teach blind clients assistive technology, so I phoned about it and got this bitchy secretary that said the person I was looking for was away. She told me to email her. I hope I didn’t just blow that opportunity. It’s hard to make a business call before 7 in the morning your time, But I did it.

Arg they still haven’t changed the schedule! I rely on that thing! All I know is I’m supposed to bring the gental leader this morning and we’re going to a residential route, and this afternoon we’re booking the outing and ordering pictures. How big is a 4X6? Is that like picture frame size or what? And what’s a 5×7? I’m terrible at sizes. Oh well I’ll ask the instructors this morning what we’re doing.

This morning was a nice route. We were in this old neighbourhood where the sidewalk was all chewed up. A dog off leash just wouldn’t leave us alone. I think he wanted to play. It took a lot of scaring from Audrey to get him to leave. I guess Audrey and Jessica are apprentices. I didn’t realize that. Oh, and Tamara came back today! Yea!

Apparently we start picking up their…presents either tomorrow or Friday. Good. Lots of time to get it down. Apparently some of us get to take our puppies for a free run in the grass paddock.

I still have to email the technology lady. Ug. I’d like to do that now, but we’re supposed to hang tight here.

This afternoon, the vet will talk to us. Yea! And we do the basic route again. I have to remember to do obedience because I forgot to do it this morning.

Man I couldn’t decide what to eat for lunch. There was either a taco salad or wings and things. The blue cheese dip made me decide to have the taco salad. Mmm. Taco salad!

Salad was good, Frank and Craig were goofy. Then we did the basic route and I even did the longer block. Did obedience on it and everything and she did fine. I was approached by some freaky guy yelling “Hey dog, wanna have a crack at my stick?” Ug! Tamara’s like is that a comfortable pace for you? I said no, I’m trying to run from that man. Then, at an intersection of all places, this guy’s like “can I pet your dog a minute?” I’m like no. Yeah, pet my dog, I.E. distract her, right before I’m supposed to cross the street. That shows intelligence.

We had the vet talk this afternoon and talked about fleas and all that stuff. That vet doesn’t sound like a vet. He sounds like a farmer or something. Oh, Craig told us there was a competition on graduation day and I thought he was full of crap, but I found out he was not. Then we got back at a more reasonable time and did all the regular jazz.

Dinner was good, this weird tortilla that you have to roll this stuff up in.

Then I went and started printing stuff for this song. Carmen’s wonderful, but oy yoy yoy. This is a song, a joke, some fun. It does not need to be polished and perfect. She won’t stop playing the piano even though Al’s going to play the guitar. I can’t get the braille printer to work, so I’m going to have to manually braille them out. Thank god it’s only 3 copies. Fall down go boom. Have to do email and braille and one print over again cause she wants it in bold.

Not much has happened this morning. The usual. Hopefully I’ll have more to say later.

Tired. Tired. Went for morning route, but before route happened, got upset, couldn’t focus on route so didn’t go on route. Sat at lounge and felt guilty, but knew it wasn’t a good idea to go out on route.

Came back at lunch, lunch was good, grilled chicken sandwich, salad, and a really good cheesecake.

Came back from lunch, groomed her, and found out picture day was Thursday and I was worried about my dark pants blending in with my puppy, but they told me that the photographer was really good, so to not worry about it.

Had two lectures this afternoon and then relieved and went out to lounge again. Went on route, and she kept blowing down-curbs! I was furious! She got one hell of a correction. She did it a whole bunch of times, but after the correction, she got better. Then we were uber late getting back, at almost 6. Why the hell do they schedule a last feed/water,relieve at 4:45 if we’re never back? I could barely get her to stand still long enough to get the harness off. I could barely get her fed and watered and then we had to get down to supper and I was crazy late. Somehow, Meredeth managed to finish before I started! Finish! And she was on my bus! She’s a fiend!

So much to do, and I still wanted to brush her teeth, play with her, wash her dish, and somehow a bunch of us were
coordinating the outing for easter Sunday. We have to decide by tomorrow where we all want to go Easter Sunday. The consensus seems to be Fisherman’s Warf. That doesn’t really tickle my fancy, but maybe it’ll surprise me. Whatever, I don’t care. Tired.

Came back from dinner and brushed her teeth and tried to play with the cong. The devil doesn’t like fetch. She’d rather eat leaves! What toy will you like? You’re breaking my heart.

And Carmen thinks we’re going to rehearse? Is she high? We’re tired. If we have to, we’ll read the words off braille. We do not need to goddamn rehearse. I love Carmen, but I do not have the energy to deal with her perfectionism. I didn’t even make it to yoga because I didn’t have the brains left to deal with it. I just needed time to settle my thoughts, and that drill sergeant of a yoga instructor just wasn’t going to make me relax. I love yoga, but I didn’t have the energy to deal with her pushing our legs around. The nurse was like you could sit on the couch and breathe. I’m like na.

I really hate this time difference. When I want to phone home, I can’t because it’s too late, and when people want to call me, sometimes it’s too early. It’s amazing how much of a difference 3 hours can make. It doesn’t seem like much, but when your day’s so tightly packed, it does.

I think it’s almost time to relieve. Then I’m going to hit the pillow. No rehearsals, no screwing around, nothing.