Not Everything that Looks Stupid is Totally Stupid

A week or so ago, a friend of mine sent me these two complaint letters from a group of blind people who call themselves the Alliance for Equality of Blind Canadians. One was complaining about the commercials that the CNIB put out that say “not everyone who looks blind is totally blind. 90% of the people we assist have some vision.” and show either a woman using a white cane and ogling a construction worker who takes off his shirt or a boy waving his hand in front of a dude with a cane and then getting a shock when the dude waves back. The other complaint letter was in reference to a proposal to have a channel which would have an audio description of all its programming instead of people needing to press the sap button to turn it on.

When I first received the letters, I couldn’t bring myself to read them. I was already mad. I love the fact that these advocacy groups exist, when they advocate for reasonable things. Some of them are very extreme and they’re the ones that get attention. Usually, they try and say they speak for all of us, which they obviously do not. They claim that their way is the only way to do things, and refuse to believe that everyone does things differently. Somewhere in the US, I forget where and wouldn’t even know where to begin to google such a thing, there was a proposal to put audible signals, the chirpy cuckoo things, at every traffic light. I figure hell, if that’s what they want to do, and they can do it, go ahead. That wasn’t the stance of the NFB, National Federation of the Blind. They decided to stand out there protesting, saying that this reflected a feeling that we couldn’t cross the streets on our own. Only in your opinion, buddy. People who can see don’t have to follow traffic patterns. They watch for the little white man with the walk sign. This is just the same. But they stood out there making a scene, saying that none of us wanted this. Hey dude, if you don’t want it, there’s a simple solution, don’t push the button! What if your mom just went blind and hadn’t mastered listening for traffic and the audible signal made her feel safer crossing streets? Sure, I think you should learn how to listen in case the chirpy cuckoo thing breaks, but if a city wants to put the signal in, for god’s sake let them!

This isn’t the only time the actions of theNFB have pissed me off. They have training centres across the states, and I’ve heard more than a few rumbling rumours that if people come there with guide dogs, their dogs are shunned because they are looked down upon. They are forced to be separated from their dogs and train with a cane! Um, excuse me? If you got a dog and went to a decent school, it’s because you were good with a cane. This is a pile of bullshit.

So, it was with more than a little bit of dread that I read these letters to see what they had to say. I was going to slow-roast them here, in that light. But now that I’ve read them, I’m more torn than ever.

Let’s start with the CNIB commercials. Ok, I’ll admit when I first saw the commercial, I was offended. I thought, “So what are the totally blind clients? Chopped liver? Do we not matter? Is it more important to have vision and be served by the CNIB than to be totally blind?” I already felt like a lot of the products sold by the CNIB required you to have vision to use them even though they claimed to talk.

But then someone told me what the commercials were like, and I laughed! I thought it was great that the tables got turned on the kid who waved his hands in the face of the dude at the bus stop. People get so confused about blindness. They think we live in a world of blackness, and they can’t understand that there are degrees. Some of us see light, some of us see light and shadows, some of us can see better at night but worse in the day, some have the reverse problem, some can see objects but don’t ask them to read a sign, some of us need large print, and up it goes.

When I asked someone at CNIB about it, they said it was because they were hearing that people who had some vision loss felt they couldn’t approach the CNIB because they weren’t blind yet. So these commercials were trying to make them feel there was a place for them.

So I thought, great! The commercials are jokingly saying, we’re not all totally
blind. I thought that, as a side benefit, maybe it would stop the staring that goes on every day. To the people who stare and gawk, don’t think I don’t know. Sometimes I’m with friends who either stare back or tell me what’s going on. So I thought maybe these commercials might make people think twice about staring at me like I’m some kind of circus act.

But the letter objecting to the commercials is claiming the opposite is happening to them. People are actually getting stopped on the street and told that the person stopping them on the street has seen the commercials, and now they know the truth, that the blind person really can see and is just pretending. Some kid tried to mimic the commercial, and unfortunately got a nasty surprise when the blind guy grabbed his hand and told him to stop it. So people are actually noticing an increase in bullshit because of these commercials. Part of me thinks the people doing the harassing would have found another reason to do it anyway. Dicks are dicks, and one commercial isn’t going to cause a transformation from decent guy to super dick. But it sucks if it’s contributing to crap. I’ve never had anything weird like that happen, but maybe I’m just lucky.

Another claim made by the complaining group is that if the CNIB is trying to make it clear that they have services available to people who have some vision, why aren’t they mentioned. Ok, obviously these people haven’t worked in advertising. Neither have I, but I know that if you spent a whole commercial just listing services, you’d get the attention of exactly no one.

Their last claim is that the white cane will lose its effectiveness as an indicator of low vision because people will think of the commercial and think the person using the cane can see anyway. If people do, they’re stupid. It says right in the comercial, *some* vision. Already, some people have no regard for the white cane, or for the pedestrian for that matter. Steve’s cane that got turned into a pretzle at a street corner is a testament to that. I don’t think the commercial will change the minds of anyone with, well, half a functioning brain. And the rest are already stupid.

And then there was the other letter that got sent about the audio description being added to a channel. They’re claiming that adding it to only one channel promotes segregation, and it should be automatically on on every channel. Ok, whatever.

First off, I don’t think your average TV-watcher wants to have what they’re seeing described audibly, the same way they’d be irritated if everything they were hearing was automatically scrolled across the screen as if they were deaf. Description is becoming available more and more through the TV’s secondary audio program, you just have to push a few buttons, and if the description is that important to you, you’ll figure out the buttons you have to press.

Second, just adding it to one channel is going to cost approximately $25 a year. Are these people actually thinking we can all afford $25 per channel that exists? That’s a lot of dough!

The point of this channel is it’s a neat idea, having it on automatically. If you go to it, you know you’re going to get description. But it would be ridiculous to have it on everywhere. You would piss off more people than you would help, and why do that when the SAP option is perfectly available on most TV’s?

Ug complaint letters. Somehow I feel like this post has gotten away from me. I don’t know how to feel about the first one. I think it’s over the top, but if this commercial campaign is actually causing problems, then the CNIB should know about it. The second one is just ridiculous. What they’re asking for is never going to happen and they look like whining babies.

Something Tells Me This One’s Not a Career Criminal

Do I really need to say anything? Taken from the Guelph Mercury.

Criminal calls police for help breaking into church

STEVENS POINT, WIS. (Mar 7, 2007)

If only all criminals were this helpful. A 24-year-old man called police to tell them he was trying to break into a church but he wasn’t having much luck.

Police said the found the man waiting at St. Paul’s Lutheran church. He told them he had hoped to be married in the church and was trying to use a metal shovel to break through the doors. Officers searched the man and found marijuana.

He then invited them to his home, where he told them they would find more drugs. They did. He showed them his stash of marijuana and stolen prescription drugs.

It’s Not really that special, it just made me laugh.

The Next Phase in the Guide Dog Saga

I hope this post doesn’t bore too many people, but I thought someone might be interested in this, so off we go.

I got my acceptance package from Guide Dogs on Wednesday, and it’s pretty cool. Man, these people think of everything. They even sent luggage labels with pictures of dogs on them that you’re supposed to stick on your bags so the people picking you up at the airport know they’re your bags! How absolutely super awesome cool is that? When I saw the sheer pile of paper in the package, I sort of cringed. But then I saw the computer disk, and it seems that everything they sent in print, they put on the disk. I should have known, their application package was just that cool.

Then I saw my tickets! Now that is a cool feeling, looking at the tickets for the flight that’s going to take me to doggy school! March 18 is going to be an early, early morning. But that’s ok, I probably won’t be able to sleep, I’ll be so excited.

I started reading over the files on the disk, and couldn’t help but be amazed at how thorough they were. They said when a good time to visit would be, they detailed all the stuff they had in their dorms, they even gave the wifi key out for anyone who was interested in using their wireless network. Again, how cool is that? They mentioned things to bring, things that were provided, and things that I wished the school in Ottawa had mentioned, like the fact that you’re going to be bringing home more gear than you came with, sparky, so don’t pack your bags to capacity or you’ll be sorry. I remember that moment when I realized how stupidly I’d packed when I went to guide dog school last time, and was very happy mom and dad were driving me back to Guelph, because otherwise I would have been screwed.

I kept reading over files. There was a file to help you explain things to friends and family, a file with their smoking policy, the contract that you have to sign, their code of conduct, a file explaining what would happen if the unthinkable happened and they decided they had to take the dog back and you disputed it, a welcome letter, an overview of some stuff, even a file explaining what a typical day of training would be like! The school in Ottawa never did that. I didn’t know what the hell I was in for at all. Then I saw a file called communication protocol and I was too curious. I opened it, started to read, and all I could think was my oh my oh my.

Ok, this file was created to help resolve conflicts between students. It explicitly told you not to talk behind the person’s back to other students or staff, and to go to them directly to solve the problem. I totally agree, but we’re all adults here, has it really been proven to them that they have to explicitly spell this out for people? Based on what I’ve seen with their other info, I’m saddened to think that it has. Ug what kind of petty bullshit happens during classes? I know they’re stressful, and by the end of Ottawa’s class, I was getting a bit cranky, but I knew why I was cranky, so I tried my best not to take it out on anyone. That’s what journals are for. Write it out and do the best you can to understand it so you can put it away. I think my favourite line is ” If your intention is to prove the other person wrong and yourself right…there is no possibility of resolution.” Can’t you just hear the strains of “now children, play nice” right about now?

It goes on to explain how you should come to the person and talk about it with them, and if that time is not a good one for them, schedule one. They felt it necessary to *tell* you to thank them for talking to you. In great detail, they tell you how you should say what the problem is and let them paraphrase it back so you know they heard it. Then they should say their side of it and you should summarize it back, and then come up with a plan to fix it, which you must follow through on, of course.

Oh, my, god. I feel likeI’m back in grade 6. Maybe we should get out the penny jar and everyone has to put in a penny when they put another person down. I’m not mad at the school, they obviously feel like this is necessary based on years of experience. I’m more disappointed that that’s the experience they had.

Then I got a call from the nurse at the school. They even have nurses on staff. It’s a good thing she called, because my doctor is full of crap. You have to send in a medical form, which he filled out, and the asshole told them I had chronic fatigue with an unknown cause! Me? Chronic fatigue? I don’t think so. Sure, there was a time when my health took a plunge, but that was situational, which means, um, it’s not chronic!

Just process that for a while. If I was on a guide dog selection committee and I read that someone had chronic fatigue, I’d think that because of all the walking and training, maybe this isn’t for them. I could have been nixed because of that damn false statement! The doc and I are going to have a talk, trust me.

Then he didn’t even bother to put down what medicines I take. Ok, if you’re going to say the wrong things sometimes, the least you can do is not omit the right things the rest of the time. He has my damn file. And if he needed clarification, couldn’t he have talked to me? Oh well, lesson learned, and luckily for me, no harm done. He won’t be filling out any more forms, and if I have to have him doing it, I’m going over it before it goes out!

Soon, I will be there, and I know I’ll be in good hands if all this stuff is any indication.

Coolness

I just got a pretty cool call. I finally sent that thank you letter I’ve been meaning to send to TD bank about their talking bank machines. They called to thank me for sending the letter! Not only that, but they told me that if I had any further feedback about the machines, I have the number of the person who did a lot of the work for these suckers to be put in place. So if anyone uses them and notices something, let me know and I’ll let them know.

Plus, she said she wanted to keep my number and contact me from time to time, I guess if they implement something new or whatever.

Isn’t that cool? One little letter, and I got their attention! They’re about as happy to have gotten the letter as I was when I found out the machines talked. I love making other people happy, and maybe, just maybe, helping to make things better.

Saving Some People Some Time

Wow! I never know what people are going to choose to search for and come to our site. Ever since I wrote the post about the herbal king, we’ve had at least 5 searches for this king, some seeming to wonder if it is a scam. Let me save them some time and say, make that scream, YES!

The offer came in a spam, it is a scam! Your wife didn’t go tell the herbal king about your inadequacies. Even if this herbal king ends up selling you something, who knows what’s in it?

Now start using your bullshit filter, and your delete key, more liberally on spam. No good can come from responding or buying things from spam! Steve has already yelled about this, I don’t think anything more needs to be said.

Ploughing Down the Stupid

Ok, any way you slice this story, it’s stupid.

At 2:00 a.m., a bunch of people were milling around downtown looking for rides. They started banging on random vehicles asking if they’d give them a drive. Now here’s where it gets confusing. The radio said a woman pounded on the window of a pickup truck which had the snowplough attached and asked for a ride, the driver said no, and then when he tried to move on, she either bent down to tie her shoe or fell in front of the truck’s wheels and was hurt. The paper says almost the same story, minus the plough part.

Either way, why in hell would you bang on random vehicles’ windows? Better still, why would you choose to stand in front of a pickup truck of all things demanding a ride? It’s even more stupid if it’s the truck with the plough! Get out of the way! Strange drunken fools I tell ya.

Sue! Sue! Yes I’m Gonna Sue!

I don’t quite know why this bugs me, but it does. Here’s a quick rundown of a story I just read in the Guelph Mercury.

Old man gets on bus. Bus goes back into traffic before old man is seated, old man falls, breaks a hip, an arm and gets heavily bruised, old man can no longer live on his own due to his injuries, old man dies six months later from prostate cancer, family is suing city for ruining the last few months of his life and allegedly bringing on his death. They were originally suing to pay for medical expenses, but now that he’s dead, they’re suing anyway! Why? I’m not quite sure.

Ok, I agree that it was unfortunate that he fell on the bus. I agree that maybe the driver should have checked that he was seated before taking off. I agree that it’s sad that he had to go into a nursing home at the end. But it! Was! an! accident! I’ve had them take off before I’m seated. You grab the pole and hang on until you can get yourself into a seat. If I fell because I didn’t make it, I wouldn’t think of suing the city. Shit happens!

Hey family of old man. Let me tell you something. Your dear old papa was…old! He could have broken his hip when he slipped on some ice when he went to check the mail. Don’t believe me? That’s what killed my great grandma. You get old, hips break, and that’s pretty devastating. But that is not worth suing over!

And last time I checked, falls didn’t create prostate cancer. The bus didn’t shoot him full of carcinogens, he died from something he probably already had.

Ug greedy money-grubbing pigs piss me off.

Wow, Just…Wow!

I mentioned earlier that it’s getting harder and harder for me to find things in the news that I truly consider weird. Well, that bar is about to be set even higher. Observe.

A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.

Thomas Aloysius McCarney, with an address in south Galway, was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage. Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.

“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”

Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “Mr Shrek” had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English.”

Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai.

McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed. He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.

He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

You can find the original story as well as updated information about what these people are up to now as it becomes available here.

Wouldn’t You Give A Hand To A Friend?

Here’s an update on Ahmed Rashed, the guy who stole a human hand and gave it to a stripper friend of his as a gift. He has been sentenced to 15 months of probation and fined $5000. If he breaches the terms of his sentence, he could wind up spending up to 5 years in prison.

Linda Kay, the dancer who was keeping the hand which she had apparently named Freddy in a jar in her home, was charged with unlawful disposal of human remains and enrolled in a counseling program. If she follows the program for a year, she will be let off with no criminal record.

Even with all of this new information, I still have no idea what the hell is going on here. It’s hard for me to find truly weird news anymore since I’ve seen so much of it over the years, but this definitely qualifies.