The A-Z Of Steve

No idea why every now and then I am moved to do something like this, but people seem to like them as a kind of get to know the guy you may tell to die in a fire when he writes something you don’t like sort of thing, so here’s the A-Z of me.

  • A: Age – 32, but I don’t know if I feel 32. Is 32 supposed to feel like something? From day to day I can’t tell if I feel younger or older.
  • B: Bed size – I either sleep on a couch or on one of those 3 quarter beds that’s not quite a double but way bigger than a single.
  • C: Chore that you hate – Returning phone calls. Phone gives me pretty bad headaches about 90% of the time. That’s right kids, I don’t ignore those of you with my phone number because I want to, I do it because I’d rather be able to use the rest of the day. It’s nothing personal…most of the time.
  • D: Dogs – Not the biggest fan of them even though I had a couple as a kid. One of them was an awesome dog and the other one was a sickly little thing that could only eat by chowing down, throwing up and then chowing down again. He didn’t last long. You’re stunned. We have Trixie now, and her and I get along just fine.
  • E: Essential start to the day – The arrival of midnight. You can’t start a new day without it. After that, you’re on your own.
  • F: Favourite colour – Anything that’s easy to match without having to look at it or remember too much. The easier it is to throw on and go, the more your blind friend over here will probably like it.
  • G: Gold or silver – Don’t really care unless we’re talking competition. Then it’s gold all the way unless I’m in a contest organized by some kind of contrarian.
  • H: Height – Around 5-10 or so. Put another way, not tall enough to offset my fatness.
  • I: Instrument you play – That’s a little personal, isn’t it? We’re just getting to know each other. Slow down, tiger!
  • J: Job – Entertaining fellow to some, hatemail receptacle to others.
  • K: Kids – No, but I like other people’s. Just spent a couple of hours playing with one.
  • L: Live – In an apartment.
  • M: Mother’s name – Mom, but you might be able to get away with Mummingford. That’ll be funny to like 3 of us.
  • N: Nickname – The only one that ever stuck was Bundy, but almost nobody calls me that anymore. No, that’s not an invitation to start. It wasn’t an insult, but it’s done its time.
  • O: Overnight hospital stays – When I was born obviously, and then when I was still little while they were trying to figure out what in hell this blindness deal was all about.
  • P: Pet peeves – Pretty much everything. If you think I’m kidding, have a look at the archives.
  • Q: Quote from a film – “Are you too good for your home?” Figured I’d go with one I actually use in real life.
  • R: Right or Left handed – Depends on the task, but mostly left. Ever since I broke my right arm falling up a flight of stairs and realized how much I needed it, I have trouble saying that I’m purely left handed.
  • S: Siblings – 2 of ’em. I got to be the oldest.
  • T: Time you wake up – Which time? I’ve heard about this sleeping straight through the night stuff, but I don’t have a lot of experience with it. Looks peaceful though I must say.
  • U: Underware – Mine. Can’t fit into Carin’s.
  • V: Vegetable you hate – I’d say the one who ran over my foot the other day, but that would be mean so I’ll say cabbage.
  • W: What makes you late – Being dead. Everybody would call me the late Steve Wettlaufer.
  • X: X rays – Teeth every few dentist appointments and the aforementioned broken right arm.
  • Y: Yummy food that you make – Meatloaf and homemade burgers are probably my best work.
  • Z: Zoo Animal – Some of the spank hankies we share our building with.

There, that wasn’t too painful. Hope the quiz lovers around here enjoyed it. Not sure when you’ll get another one. Carin may do it, but my money’s on no. she’s much smarter than I am.

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