When Ya Gotta Go, Ya Gotta Go To The Hospital

And now, let us take a few moments to read of the to my eye completely over the top workplace pranking and subsequent totally justified legal proceedings between firefighter Thomas Wengerter and his and fate’s aptly named victim, fellow fireman Raymond Johns.

• On November 27, 2015, Johns was on duty at the firehouse.
• He was in the men’s bathroom when he sat down on a toilet and heard and felt an explosion beneath him.
• Johns examined himself for injury and discovered a significant amount of blood coming from the left side of his scrotum, on which a blood blister had formed.
• The remnants of an exploded bang snap, a small firework without a fuse that detonates when compressed, was discovered on the toilet.
• After an investigation, defendant Thomas Wengerter, a fellow City firefighter, admitted to having placed bang snaps in various places in the firehouse as a prank, although he later denied having placed a bang snap on the toilet.
• The record, however, contains significant evidence contradicting Wengerter’s denial, including his apology to Johns immediately after the incident.
• Shortly after being injured, Johns left work to be treated at a medical facility.
• He was diagnosed with a second-degree burn on his scrotum and a contusion of the left testicle.
• He was thereafter placed off duty. He returned to work on December 9, 2015.
• Johns suffered no lost wages, and the City paid all his medical expenses.
• He did not file a workers’ compensation claim.
• Wengerter was suspended for the incident.

Believe it or not, Johns’ suit was unsuccessful because of the way the laws around these sorts of things are structured. Basically, being a complete fucking dipshit on duty and maming a guy falls under the category of workplace injury, so the only remedy he’s entitled to comes from the Workers’ Compensation Act and not, you know, the person actually responsible. Yes, even though to any reasonable person putting fireworks on a toilet has nothing to do with firefighting. No, not even if you almost blow off a guy’s hose as a result.

Seriously, this is unbelievable. Nuts, even.

Sorry, Raymond. Hard to resist the low hanging fruit, you understand.

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