Listen, mom of Russell Gortzig. YouTube is not responsible for your kid’s deciding to light himself on fire like the guy in the banana suit did on YouTube. You know who is? Russell Gortzig is, and partially, so are you. If he didn’t see it on YouTube, he would have gotten the urge to set …
Monthly Archives: August 2009
Why Does It Keep Saying "Preheat To Channel 350"?
So if you end up in a Wal-Mart parking lot and someone offers you a 37-inch flat screen television for 100 bucks, it might just be an oven door. Just thought I’d warn ya.
Les Paul, More Dead
I’ll confess, I blatantly swiped that title from aFarkheadline, but it made me laugh, I couldn’t come up with a better one, and it’s not like I’m the first person to ever take their material. Radio folks have been making a living doing that for years, but unlike them I’m man enough to admit it. …
We’ll Give You That To Go
Whoever has it out forthis guyis certainly gaining revenge in a Vomit Comet approved manner. Four different times, the car of the unidentified son of the unidentified man living somewhere on the 300 block of West Caracas Avenue, Derry Township, Pennsylvania, has been covered with food and nobody seems to know why. The police report …
Tenth Time’s The Charm
After using that Nebraska safe haven law we used towrite about all the time until it was finally fixedto unload 9 of your kids because you’ve lost the will to be a parent, what’s the next logical step? Well, if you’re Gary Staton, the answer isgo out and knock up your new woman. When he …
UK Ridiculousness On Parade
Oh boy, more from the UK. Now, a pool’s lane ropes were moved so that swimmers swam widths of the pool rather than lengths for health and safety reasons. and file this under the teaspoons are dangerous files. Now, if anyone is buying anything bladed, even a pizza cutter, they have to show they’re over …
Off With Their Heads, And Then Off With Mine!
The poor, poor adoptive parents of Christopher Monks. They’ll be wondering what they did wrong for a long time. He apparently met this other guy, Shaun Skarnes, on the net, and together, they decided to kill Monks’s parents. Afterwards, Skarnes would satisfy Monks by….biting off his penis? Whaaat? Yup, that’s what he wanted. Luckily, nobody …
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Now That’s the Long Arm Of The Law
Hey there Brian Persaud, I think I’ve heard of a worse case than yours. Meet Tunde Clement. He was arrested, strip searched and police couldn’t find any drugs on him, but they were convinced they were in him, so took him to the hospital where he was sedated and given a colonoscopy. It didn’t find …
Will Fourteen Be Enough, Social Services?
I’m sure Theresa Winters is giving the folks at Social Services nightmares with this statement. “For every child they take, I’ll have another.” It seems she has had 13 kids and they’ve all been taken, either when they were born or after they were 2. She’s pregnant with no. 14. A whole bunch of them …
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Hot dog!
Uh, um, erm, I beg your pardon? there is, um, erm, a sex toy for dogs? Yuck, And how exactly do you convince your dog to use it? I think the only one who will use it will be this guy.