Quickly! To The Toxic Waste Fallout Shelter!

Last Updated on: 29th June 2020, 11:58 am

Here’s a surprise.
Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars, a lovely sounding confection made in Pakistan and imported to the United States, has been recalled. Yes, all of it. Every bar ever made by the company dating back to 2007 is subject to the warning. Good luck getting some of those back, unless you’re going to be digging them out of unfortunates who didn’t get the memo in time.

So why, you ponder, were these wonderful concoctions recalled? For containing dangerously high levels of Toxic Waste, of course.

Tests showed that the cherry flavoring in the chew bars contained extremely high levels of lead — 0.24 parts per million when the U.S. limit is 0.1.

“That potentially could cause health problems, particularly for infants, small children, and pregnant women,” the Food and Drug Administration said.

Would now be a good time to ask why infants are eating Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars, or should I wait? Do they also come in a baby food version for those who aren’t totally sold on the whole being a parent business?

If you are an American infant and have consumed any of this stuff, you might want to get in touch with Circle City Marketing and Distributing, the company responsible for bringing the not so yummies to your tummy. NO kids, I’m not sure if they have a sickly baby cry interpreter on staff, so just do your best.

Seriously. Infants?

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