The Service Here Bites

It’s been a while since we’ve had a dentist story, so let’s fix that, shall we?

Florida dentist Michael Hammonds, 57, is facing assault and battery charges after getting into a bit of a fight and screaming match with an 85-year-old woman over a denture procedure that wasn’t going well.

According to cops, Michael Hammonds, 57, was attempting to adjust Virginia Graham’s “lower partial dentures” when the senior citizen “began screaming” due to pain caused by the ill-fitting false teeth.

“Graham removed the partials from her mouth and threw them at Hammonds, which he caught,” according to a Volusia County Sheriff’s Office report.

When Hammonds refused Graham’s demand for a $900 refund, she tried to snatch the dentures from the dentist’s hand, prompting a “brief tug-of-war.” At that point, “Graham then bent down and bit Hammonds hand forcing him to let go of the partial.”

Graham then got out of the operating chair and sought to leave Hammonds’s Deltona office. But the dentist “got in her face and began screaming at her, causing her to fear that he would potentially cause her harm,” investigators reported. Graham told deputies that Hammonds physically kept her from leaving his office. She “made one final attempt to leave by trying to climb over the receptionist desk and out the receptionists window,” but abandoned that bid in order to avoid injury.

Sheriff’s deputies observed “multiple bruising” on Graham’s upper arms and forearms, and her “left upper arm was bleeding due to her skin tearing when Hammonds grabbed her arm.”

So far, there haven’t been any charges filed against Graham for biting him or throwing things, likely because well, she’s 85. then again, age has never been something to stop the authorities in the past, and some of those old people are still pretty damn tough and in control of themselves. Hard call.

I think the reason our dentist friend took it on the chin so hard (felony assault, battery and false imprisonment) has a lot to do with the part where he didn’t just let the crazy woman leave. Taking old folks hostage when it looks like you’ve beaten them up a little can’t help but look bad even if you’re completely in the right, which I have no idea whether or not he was. Either way, not smart.

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