Little Seizures

Everything about this story Amanda sent us hurts my brain a little.

First, since when are you allowed to make calls using your own cell phone when you’ve been arrested? I’ll admit ignorance here because A: I’ve never been arrested and B: maybe the rules are different in Kentucky than they are in Canada. For our purposes we’ll go with C: Michael Harp was being processed by the most trusting police officers in the history of the universe, because that’s the only way I can get any of this to make any sense.

So with that established, let’s move on to the part that may or may not be worse. Honestly, I can’t decide.

Harp, having been given the gift of trust and/or sloppiness, decided to spend his good fortune and presumably his one phone call (unless that’s not true anymore either) on having 5 pizzas delivered to the police station under the name of his arresting officer. That’s what the police say he did anyhow, and really, what a silly thing to lie about if he didn’t.

Speaking of silly lies or at least what walks and quacks a lot like a duck that tells silly lies, Harp told a local TV station that the whole thing was a misunderstanding and that 10 or so people used his phone. Let us ponder that a moment. You take advantage of some rather undeserved and possibly rule breaking trust from the authorities, and the best you can come up with when caught is well, I was passing my phone around a room full of accused criminals, so it could’ve been anybody? Yeesh. I’d toss you in jail just for that, had I the power.

As for the people who do have the power, they’re tossing him in jail or at least hoping to for theft of identity, theft by deception and impersonating a police officer in addition to the shoplifting charge that lead us to pizza day in the first place.

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  1. Jeff Foxworthy, a hillbilly (fake but funny) says “their family tree does not fork”. I started to send you a Wiki article about Corbin, KY but that quote pretty much says it.

    Appalachia, small population, southern KY, and probably inbred, and poor. It’s one claim to fame if Colonel Sanders.

    1. Ok, that pretty much explains it. I wondered if it might be that sort of town.

      I’ve always liked Jeff Foxworthy. Have even seen him in concert once.

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