Welcome Back, Penis Game

Last Updated on: 29th November 2019, 09:09 am

Not sure how many of you will remember this, but a bunch of us had a lot of really dumb fun back in 2004 with a little thing called the Penis Game. Some of them made it to the main page, but many were lost forever thanks to the great comment purge of 2011. Nope, still not over that.

Here’s how Matt explained things back then because I sliced the hell out of my finger the other day which means typing hurts and I don’t want to write it all out again. Pay attention, because this is some high concept shit.

Now this is very immature and juvenile but… well look around. You shouldn’t expect anything different from us. All you do is grab a CD from around you. Any album, it doesn’t matter. Change the last word in every song title to “Penis.” If the title is only one word long than keep that word and add Penis to the end.

CDs? Christ, we’re old.

Anyway, it appears Kyle was bumming around the archives, came across some of the entries and decided to insert himself into the proceedings. He managed to do it three times, which is still rather impressive even if each one only took a few seconds.

First up, Nevermind.

  • Smells like Teen Penis,
  • In Penis,
  • Come as you Penis,
  • Breed Penis,
  • Lithium Penis,
  • Polly Penis,
  • Territorial Penis,
  • Drain Penis,
  • Lounge penis,
  • Stay Penis,
  • On a Penis,
  • Something in the Penis,
  • endless Penis

“LMAO. feel like I missed out on something,” he adds.

You sure did, my friend. But it’s ok to come late.

Next up, Shake Your Money Maker.

  • Twice as Penis (shame to have to change that one since the song is called Twice As Hard),
  • Jealous Penis,
  • Sister Penis,
  • Could i Have Been So Penis,
  • Seeing Penis,
  • Hard to Penis,
  • Thick and Penis,
  • She Talks to Penis,
  • Struttin’ Penis,
  • Stare it Penis.

She talks To Penis is pretty great, but I don’t think it’s my favourite.

On that note, let’s drive this thing home with American Idiot.

  • American Penis,
  • Jesus of Penis,
  • Holiday Penis,
  • Boulevard of Broken Penis,
  • Are we the Penis,
  • St. Penis,
  • Give me Penis,
  • She’s a Penis,
  • Extraordinary Penis,
  • Letter Penis,
  • Wake me Up when September Penis,
  • Homecoming: The death of St. Penis/East 12th Penis/Nobody Likes Penis/Rock and Roll Penis/We’re Coming Home Penis,
  • WhatserPenis.

It’s my new goal in life to call somebody Whatserpenis at least once. Also Boulevard of Broken Penis made me giggle like a big, stupid man child.

Thanks for these, Kyle!

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  1. I think everyone close to me thinks I’m out of my mind. They h ave watched me go from swearing at my computer to crying to now laughing and snorting at this at least 3 times. At least. I friggin needed that today.

  2. First, in my extensive experience, (and yes, extensive was intentional), I always try to come later than earlier. Second, giggling like a man-child is still OK, unless you’re dumping buckets of poop on random folks. And third, a little Penis is always fun, so long as there’s not a dauntingly cavernous vagina at the Reception … (or bum), or whatever else people are doing these days. #LGBTQ2+9Squared5BXDFH9I.

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