No Money Down. Pants Are Another Matter

Not that any of these do it yourself stories are pleasant and lovely, but there’s something about this one that’s particularly gross. I just can’t put my finger on what, though.

Police were called Wednesday afternoon to Bob Tyler Toyota in Pensacola after “a customer complained to a sales associate about a naked woman in the back seat of one of the vehicles on the sale lot.”
When a dealership manager opened the Jeep’s door, he said he spotted Alexis King, 37, “naked, with her legs spread wide open.” A receptionist reported that the suspect was “pulling at her vagina.” A third employee, who called 911, told police that a coworker called him “to the front lot to get a vehicle that a homeless woman was inside pleasuring herself.”
After King exited the auto and walked away from the dealership, employees noticed damage to the car’s interior, including a broken radio and a “period stain” on the back seat. A manager estimated that King caused $1300 in damages to the Jeep.
One witness told cops that the auto smelled “so horrible” that it “went straight to detailing.”

Although King left the area, police did eventually wrangler. Yes, I just wrote that. Yes, I am proud of myself for doing so.

She was charged with burglary, criminal mischief, indecent exposure and providing a false name to police.

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