I like it when the master criminal stories are nice and simple. The victim was located on scene suffering from a gunshot wound and transported to the hospital where he later died. The suspect, identified as 43-year-old Gilbert Vermillion, was apprehended after falling out of his moving vehicle in an attempt to flee the scene, …
Category Archives: master criminals
The Sporting Goods Store Did Not Account For All Of The Dicks In The Area
Calling in a fake bomb threat and active shooter to a store across the street from where your boyfriend is about to get arrested for shoplifting maybe isn’t the smartest thing you could do, but I’ll go ahead and put it in the category of ideas so crazy they just might work. Distraction can be …
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I Want To Get Convicted Again
Point: Someone with 11 felonies on his record should know how to commit a proper robbery by now. Counterpoint: You don’t end up with 11 felonies on your record by being good at crime. You would not, for instance, threaten a clerk who just caught you trying to shoplift, go outside, put on a hood …
Jiminy Christmas!
Police: Man uses Uber to rob bank, has driver wait to take him home You will be shocked (Shocked I say!) to learn that our friend Jason Christmas here didn’t make a clean getaway, and not just because there’s nothing clean about dye packs exploding all over you, the money and the poor driver’s back …
A Few Uplifting Words To Play Over Someone else’s Car Speakers
I didn’t wake up thinking that I was in a particularly down mood today, but I must be. I say that because I remember a time when I would read a story like this one here about a carjacker who was identified because he connected his phone to the car’s Bluetooth, say to myself something …
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How About You Come Sleep Inside, My Man
I don’t drive, but I have driven with a lot of people. Sometimes those people get tired. Sometimes tired enough that them continuing to drive simply isn’t safe. So I understand why perhaps this fellow might have decided to get himself the heck off the road and take a little nap. I can also understand …
I’m Makin’ A Move, But Not A Very Long One
Other than the running and the paperwork, this sounds like a pretty easy night on the job. Officers responded to a Walmart in Knoxville around 9 p.m. Saturday and found Donald Kirkland in possession of stolen items, the report stated. Police said Kirkland ran from the officers but was eventually taken into custody. Kirkland told …
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Reach Out And Touch Yourself
I’m not sure whether I haven’t been paying the sort of attention that I should be paying or if Adam Smith is opening up new frontiers in the obscene phone call space, but this is new to me. A Florida Man admitted that he was naked and masturbating when he dialed “numerous random phone numbers” …
If Only We Had A Serves You Right Tag
We all need a good news story now and then. this one did it for me today. 2 men accidentally set themselves on fire trying to torch immigration centre Two suspected arsonists accidentally set themselves on fire as they attempted to burn down an immigration centre in California on Monday. In shocking security camera footage, …
You Can Put Them To Sleep If Your Aim Is good
As excuses go, this is certainly one. I either really do or really don’t want to be on this fishing trip. Police responding Saturday afternoon to a 911 call about a suspicious person encountered Eric Bennett, 30, on a Vero Beach street. An officer described Bennett as “visibly intoxicated on an unknown substance.” Asked about …
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