Here’s a lesson for burglars. Lock your getaway vehicle, or don’t leave it running and unoccupied, or something. If you leave it running and unoccupied with the doors unlocked, your victim might steal it. Then you’ll have to drop the loot and run away empty-handed. But these guys did get away, so I guess it …
Category Archives: master criminals
Goomba’s Pizzeria: We’ll Make You An Offer You Can’t Refuse
I should have guessed. Remember our Goomba’s Goon? Well, he’s a mobster under the witness protection program, and they’re all mad at him because he blew his cover by beating up those customers. Crazy stuff.
Not A Good Kind Of Pole-Dancing
Man, the news is awesome today. Here’s our latest in the hahahahahahahaha you guys suck files. two prisoners were handcuffed together and they were being led somewhere. They bolted to get away…and then fell down and were pepper sprayed…and then got up, got out the door, got across the street…and then met a pole and …
Did He Flush His Brain Down The Toilet?
Here’s a very stupid guy. If I were him, I’d give up any criminal involvement. It’s safer if he’d just live an honest life because then he won’t have to worry about getting busted. This guy was in a bathroom calling about a drug deal. yeah, the bathroom in a police station. But oh no, …
What A Way To Make Mom And Dad Shake Their Heads
This guy must be really really slow. He broke into a gas station and wanted to be arrested…so he could spend time with his brother who was already locked up. Uh, um, doesn’t the jail have visiting hours?
Goonba’s Pizzeria
Um, eek. Just don’t go to Goomba’s Pizzeria in Daytona Beach. If you do, don’t say that they got your order wrong because the pizzeria’s owner might pistol-whip you over it. the owner looks like quite the idiot, first saying that the surveillance was off and the customer assaulted him, then when the police found …
Baby You Can Drive…Somebody’s Car
I’ve never committed fraud in my day, but if I were the type to sell cars I didn’t own to pick up some extra cash, I’m pretty sure I’d know better than to rent cars with my own credit card and sign all the fake bills of sale with my real name. Pretty sure I’d …
Shoplift ‘Til You Drop Evidence
Hey LaKeitha Watson-Atkinson, how the hell did you manage to shove 6 purses into your pants? That’s impressive. More impressively, how did you manage to get smoked by your getaway car twice? Even more, how did you not end up seriously injured right there? But the funniest part is even though you managed to get …
Want To Kill Your Husband? There’s A Visine For That
Wow, some people are just sick. Take Tonia Peterson. She tried to kill her husband by pouring half a bottle of Visine eye drops into his tea. She had heard that it could kill him. Apparently, it can be pretty deadly. But all she managed to give him was stomach problems. Then apparently she kept …
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More Than Ink Can Say
Yet another dim bulb hasgone and pulled a Wolfname. This time it’sDarnell Louis Frazier of St. Paul, Minnesota,who gave a false name to police in an attempt to avoid 5 arrest warrants but was given up by the tattoo of his real last name on his neck. Maybe this is a good time to go …
