I Need A Babysitter. For Myself, Judging By The Kinds Of Things I Get Tricked Into

My brain has been through a lot these last couple weeks (more on that sometime down the road I’m sure), but I still have no idea why this particular scam worked. Maybe you can pull it once because there’s someone out there that’ll fall for anything, but multiple times? Nothing about it makes any sense. …

Region Of Waterloo Implements Entitled Stupid Person Tax

Make speed camera signs bigger, brighter, and bolder, driver says after $88 ticket I’ve got a better idea. What if, instead of more signage, there were less signage and you all just, like, drove properly? In a perfect world, there would be no signs announcing speed cameras at all. The one announcing the speed limit …

Now Boarding Flight Out Of My Mind!

Someone at Heathrow Airport has spent a little too much time at Heathrow Airport. They have stopped noticing the ambient noise that is caused by people doing what you do at an airport. You know, hearing announcements, picking up your luggage, going through security, walking from A to B. So they thought “You know what …

Let’s Go To The Hop. And The Courthouse. And The Jail

$700,000 is a pretty nice chunk of change to be sure, but if I’m going to need to amputate my legs and then tell the insurance company that sepsis got me in order to claim it, I’ll do without, thanks. I guess I’m just not as determined as the now appropriately named Neil Hopper. It …

You Can Cross, But You’ll Want To Watch Out For Self-Driving Teslas

There are variations, but generally, an accessible pedestrian street crossing signal sounds something like this: But for a little while in Redwood City, California, some of them sounded like this: Or in Palo Alto, like this: Those are obviously not the real voices of Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk, but I must say that the …

We Aren’t Cancelling Your Comedy Show Because You Hurt Our Feelings? What Is this, An Application For A Writing Job?

I’m not going to sit here and say that Paramount is lying when it says that the decision to cancel the Late Show next year was a financial one. The world has changed a lot this century. The entertainment landscape is much more fragmented now than I think a lot of us ever could have …

Dear Congress: If You Want To Have A Fun Summer, Smoke My Wiener. Signed, Canada

A group of six Republican politicians from Wisconsin and Minnesota took a break from polishing Trump’s knob or whatever it is that Congress does to let the world know that they neither know how the wind works nor that their own country also has forests that sometimes catch on fire, hurting and killing people in the …

Is There A French Word For Epinephrine?

If anything is going to help me get out of yet another posting drought, it’s going to be the need to make Carin aware that hundreds of bees recently attacked a bunch of people and that nobody quite knows why it happened. Several dozen people were injured – with three rushed to hospital in a …