Dead Puppies Aren’t Much Fun

When I first saw a reference to this story, I freaked out. The reference was worded like this: “Cops: Puppy was dissected for high school biology assignment”. Then there were mentions of Animal Control. So, I thought some kids went and somehow obtained a live puppy from Animal Control, killed it, and cut it open. …

Something Tells Me This Book Won’t Be Available In The Ludington Library

I don’t know how to feel about this story. A librarian in the small town of Ludington wrote an unflattering book about her experience in the library. She did use a pen name, but she used a picture of her town’s library on the cover. Soon enough, because people could figure out who she was …

Dear Future Generations Of Swedes:

You have my deepest sympathies. And remember, when the day comes that you’ve had enough and finally snap, it wasn’t me who decided that your idiot parents should be allowed to name you something stupid like Budweiser. The guy you want to lay the beating on is Lars Tegenfeldt, and you might want to consider …

The English Language Was Also Killed

Hello, Guelph Mercury? Are you there? Yes, I’m talking to you. Is everybody there who knows what they’re doing on a long vacation, or does nobody give a shit anymore? I ask because I’m curious as to how garbage likethis makes it through your editing process, if you still have one that is. I’ll forgive …

Riding The Pine…No, Make That The Steel

I think it’s as hard for us to resist stories about the things people will try to fuck as it is for them to resist trying to fuck them. So in that spirit, here’s the story of a 41-year-old man from Hong Cong known only as Xing. Feeling lonely, he decided to try his luck …