What’s up with all the confusion around when people are supposed to vote in the U.S. this year? Now we have folks showing up a half-hour…and a week early in Milwaukee, and 1000 people calling Dallas officials about where to vote last Tuesday except they don’t vote for a month. I’m glad people want to …
Category Archives: news
I’ll Pry That $5 Out Of Your Cold, Dead Hands
Barbara Antonelliis a much more forgiving soul than I will ever, ever be. If I were having a heart attack in my doctor’s office and some stupid bitch receptionist was getting in the way of the people trying to save me so that she could collect the $5 payment I owed, I’d be demanding her …
Continue reading “I’ll Pry That $5 Out Of Your Cold, Dead Hands”
Come Out With Your Pants Up!
I’m not sure why I decided to readthis story about Calgary’s new public toilet,but I did and its got me curious. One of the features built into the thing is a 9 minute warning in the form of a light letting you know that it’s time to move it on out. If you stay another …
Knock Knock. Who’s There? A Dumbass.
Ok then! A guy follows a lady up to her apartment, forces his way in, tries to sexually assault her, she fights him off, and he…leaves and says he’ll be back within the hour? She calls the cops, a cop shows up, he comes back, knocks on the door, at which point she identifies him …
Horrible, With An Odd Name
Is it wrong that I find it funny that one of the havens for child porn is Virginia? Virgin-ia? And one of the most concentrated locations of child porn is a town called Pound?
My Beer? My Kid? Tough Choice!
Wow. First we had guys buckling their beer in but endangering themselves, now we have women buckling in their beer and endangering their children! I can’t believe there would be two incidents of folks seatbelting cases of beer instead of people, but there they are.
Advanced Polls And Slow People
I should be happy that people are trying to vote. It’s just too bad that some people in Virginia tried to vote a week early, and some others in Florida tried a week too late. God, if voting matters to you, know when you’re supposed to do it!
While You Were Sleeping…
Ok, first we had girls screwing people in their sleep, now we have guys screwing people in their sleep, and the shocking revelation that sexsomnia affects 3 people in 100. That seems way too high! That means more people have sexsomnia than there are babies who die from SIDS.
Text To Pee
Oh god. I’m laughing too hard to explain what I’m laughing at. I’ll try. I’m invisioning my mom and dad driving down the road. Suddenly, mom says she needs to use the bathroom. They see a place where they can use a washroom, but all it is is a locked toilet. Mom’s happy. She gets …
Visible Stupidity
Just so no one else falls for this, next time you’re voting somewhere, the pen you’re using seems to have no ink, and the polling clerk tells you not to worry, it has invisible ink and the scanners will count it, don’t believe them and ask for another pen. We’re all good on that? Cool! …