Oh my. We’re so getting a fake kidnapping tag. It’s happening. Today, it’s happening. I’m sure the first story this unknown man told about battling men who abducted him, getting shot, and getting thrown to ferocious crocodiles in Mexico was a hell of a lot more cool-sounding than what really happened which was…he drunkenly pissed …
Category Archives: fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouch
Leader Of The Black?
This story made me shiver, giggle, and then think of a joke my mom told me once. A guy decided he wanted to be “chief of his tribe”. Ok then. To do this, he thought he needed to put his penis through the ring of a dumbbell weight fastener. Three days later, when Willie had …
Talk About Getting Your Kicks
Now that’s a sign of either a desperate man or a bad economy or both. A guy set up a banner near a mall saying he’d let them kick him in the balls if they paid him. The price was originally 5 bucks a kick, but he dropped it to 3 bucks for his only …
Put This Idea In The Can And Don’t Even Think Of Looking In Mine
So a suicide bomber blew himself up and the bomb was in his rectum. Now airlines folks are trying to figure out how to check for…bum-bombs? Don’t even start. Just don’t. Just think of what agents could do to us because of this. They say the x-ray scan machines would do it, but just ask …
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>Hope It’s Not A Good Luck Charm
>Man Hospitalized After Drilling through Live Round to Make Keychain Charm Bla bla bla, another person drilling through, or hammering on, live ammo. but there was one line that spoke to me and said he needed a place up here. The man did not immediately seek treatment, but consulted with his neighbor and eventually went …
A Quick Anatomy Lesson
Here’s a helpful tip for anyone who has the uncontrollable urge to stuff a pen up their urethra. If you get it in too far, it will not come out your ass. It’s too late for the 57-year-old man who thought his urethra was connected to his butt, but he did manage to become a …
Off With Their Heads, And Then Off With Mine!
The poor, poor adoptive parents of Christopher Monks. They’ll be wondering what they did wrong for a long time. He apparently met this other guy, Shaun Skarnes, on the net, and together, they decided to kill Monks’s parents. Afterwards, Skarnes would satisfy Monks by….biting off his penis? Whaaat? Yup, that’s what he wanted. Luckily, nobody …
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>one-eyed, no-brained parking lot pecker poker
>Here’s another example of dorks, ha ha, funny I should call them dorks, letting people who claim to be doctors shoot them full of who knows what. These ones were told the injections would enlarge their penises. Well, I guess technically they did, since all of the men contracted an infection so I’m sure there …
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Sacks On Fire
Ok guys, listen close, this is important. When a woman at the bar tells you to please stop groping her and waving your junk at her and others, it would be in your best interests to listen lest you end up like the British tourist whobecame an unwilling participant in a weenie roaston his trip …
You Are Here?
I just did a quick check, and it appears I haven’t done one of these since last November. Wow, that seems like way too long. So I’ll spare you a whole lot of banter since I don’t have much of substance to say today (How is this different from most other days?) and we’ll get …