Has this woman never flown before? Hopefully she’ll fly again, and read the instructions more carefully. Apparently, she thought the instructions told her to lie down on the conveyer belt, ya know, the ones designed for luggage. She did, and found herself in the baggage-handling centre, miraculously unharmed, and she even made her flight. I’m …
Category Archives: that was dumb
J O K E!
I can’t sleep, and then I see this. I’m angry, not because someone was horribly hurt, or someone was a tool, or some politician is passing a law to fuck us all over. No, I’m angry because this is once again proof that we are all getting inexorably dumber. I need to make an effort …
A Recipe For Disaster
Wow. What’s with people screwing up recipes in magazines and poisoning people this year? First there was the henbane incident, and now, a recipe for an apple cake called for 20 nutmeg nuts instead of two pinches of nutmeg. In case you didn’t know, that much nutmeg can make you feel pretty icky. My thoughts …
Emergency Rooms, Open Your Doors, There’s An Imbecile Coming In!
Here’s another one from my brother the baker. It’s always nice to know that my lack of faith in humanity isn’t unfounded. Unless your some relation to the Pillsbury Doughboy, you shouldn’t try this. Yesterday, I was slicing bread out in the front of the store when some woman came in. I’d say she was …
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Rest In Peace, Shamu
Get ready for the latest and greatest from the fucksticks at PETA. I was not aware of this until right now, but apparently all of the SeaWorld parks could be up for sale because ofthe sale of Anheuser-Busch to InBev.And if there’s going to be a sale, guess who says they’ve found a backer to …
Somebody Left His Brain In The Night Deposit Slot
If you show up at a bank’s night deposit slot, and it has an “out of order” sign posted over it and two dudes who look like security guards standing beside it, who claim that if you give your money to them, they’ll deposit it in the morning, do you believe them? If you do, …
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Eat Your Vegetables, Or I’ll Abandon You At A Hospital!
Jesus! If you’re a kid in Nebraska, be very very good. Be good when you’re with your parents, your babysitter, your teachers, anyone who’s taking care of you, because if you piss just one of them off, they can legally surrender you to the state at a hospital. Yup, they can just say they can’t …
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Woohoo! Drug Money!
Ok, this ranks right up there with giving doctors survival bonuses. Who thought giving kids up to 100 bucks a month for good behaviour would be a good idea? I know when I was growing up, the small rewards I got for being good, i.e. praise from a teacher or trust to do more stuff, …
Blackened And Blue Angel
Ouch ouch ouch! that has gotta hurt. I think the main reason I’m posting this story, aside from the ouch factor, is the frequent use of the word “fart” in a serious news story. Little guy, stay in England. Don’t move to Winnipeg.
I Didn’t Want That Kind Of Travel Bug
Last night, I talked to another dude who does geocaching, and somehow we got talking about my theories on geocaching gone bad. He, like W.S.g, says he’s never found anything malicious in a geocache. Wow! I’m truly amazed! Maybe there’s hope for us after all. But he did tell me a gross story that happened …