Thank You, Dictionary. That’s Helpful

My uncle has a joke of the day calendar. Every morning, he texts a bunch of us the day’s entry. If it’s a question joke rather than a funny quote or one liner, he only sends us that part and then waits to see how many of us can come up with the right answer. …

Leave It To Doug Ford To Design A Tax Credit That Leaves The Entire Province Worse Off

I don’t know if the Ford government is literally overflowing with imbeciles or if it’s just so bent on dinking over the average Ontarian that it doesn’t care if it has to blow its own foot off to do it, but here we are again. Ontario’s low-income tax credit not as good for workers as …

When Ya Gotta Go, Ya Gotta Go To The Hospital

And now, let us take a few moments to read of the to my eye completely over the top workplace pranking and subsequent totally justified legal proceedings between firefighter Thomas Wengerter and his and fate’s aptly named victim, fellow fireman Raymond Johns. • On November 27, 2015, Johns was on duty at the firehouse. • …

I Almost Feel Sorry For Amy Fee. I Don’t, But I almost Do

I don’t know a lot about what Amy Fee did in her life before politics, but if these are her defending skills I sure hope it didn’t involve lawyering. Thrown to the wolves by her bosses in the Ford government and ordered to defend its autism plan, she, or someone pulling the strings, came up …

Gambling, Drug Running…Is This Guy Good AT Anything?

If you’re going to transport a big ‘ol bag of drugs across Canada, maybe don’t listen to your buddy’s GPS when it tells you to unnecessarily cross the border into the United States. But if you are going to listen to it because it promises to save you some time, at least make sure everyone …

We Were Going To End UP Here Anyway, Sooooo…

This is security video of a couple of saps whose shoplifting experience couldnt’ have gone much worse if it tried. Officials tell KTAR-FM that officers were called to a gas station for possible shoplifting at 6 p.m. Friday. Authorities say as officers arrived, the suspects, 28-year-old Marwan Al Ebadi and 29-year-old Salma Hourieh, took off …

Simple Twymans Bad At Crime And Going To The Jail

“Butler County Sheriff Richard Jones wants to relay a few tips about what you should never do at the Sheriff’s Office or any police agency,” Jones said in a news release. “We hope you find this helpful: “• If you are not handicapped, do not park in a handicap spot, especially if the sheriff’s personal …

Religion Makes Itself Hard To Take Seriously…Again

Not that I want to oversimplify things, but religion can be really, really silly sometimes. Like seriously, we’re all so hung up on our dumb rules and traditions that we have to literally fight over who gets to say their prayers at which section of wall? Thousands of young ultra-Orthodox Jews have clashed with a …

Get Your Paws Off My Mug, Whatever The Chinese Word For Douchebag Is!

If you wonder why corporations have been able to take over the world so completely, look no further than us. We’re all, to some degree, advertising susceptible morons. Black Friday has proven this over and over again and there are far too many other examples from around the world of regular people waiting in absurd, …