This seems like as good a time as any to remind you that movies are fake and that the sorts of things that work there don’t generally translate to real life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyBnQ8kRJVc A suspected car thief tried to make the perfect getaway by racing down a flight of stairs but ended up being rescued by …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Aside From Every Bit Of It Being Stupid As Hell, I Understand None Of This
I don’t know if Thomas Hartman was high on his own supply or what, but I’m having trouble coming up with anything else that would explain any of this. For some reason, Hartman accused either his cousin or his brother (depending on whether you believe the written article or the irritating autoplaying video on a …
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Why Can’t I Bolt In This Bolt?
Cory Allen Patrick and I have something in common. Neither one of us knows how to drive an electric car. The owner of a 2017 Chevy Bolt told police he had stopped at a stop sign at the intersection when a man, later identified as Patrick, approached his driver’s-side window, the affidavit said. It said …
Internet Challenges
To answer Gill’s question, no. But I will say this. If you’re the type of person who would set yourself on fire or eat a Tide pod in the name of internet glory, go ahead and do those things. In fact, do them at the same time just to make sure they work. From the …
If The Police Are Out Here Looking For Drugs, Somebody’s Got To Sell Them To Them, Right?
This news release from the Alexandria, Louisiana police department says basically everything that this post is going to need, so I’m just going to leave it here. Suspect Waves Drugs for Sale in Front of Officers On February 22, around 7:00 pm, APD officers were conducting an investigation at a residence in the 2300 block …
United Breaks The Rules Of Overhead Bin Stowage…And Also A Dog
If there’s one truth about United Airlines, it’s that no matter what the greatest extent to which something can be fucked up is, they’re the people who will find it. Today’s episode: Let’s put this family’s dog in this here overhead bin and see what happens. You, because you do not work for United and …
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Your Money Making Strategy Is The Pits, Sir
A wee bit of free advice, if I may. If you owe $560,000 in back child support, have managed to evade capture for 20 some years and are considered by the American government to be that country’s most wanted deadbeat dad, maybe don’t try to defraud a restaurant. That is to say, be smarter than …
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If You Don’t Open Your Mouth To Say Stupid Things, No One Will Knock Out Your Tooth
Manhattan idiot David Kupferstein, 36, is suing a strip club for nearly $1 million over a missing tooth caused by his inability to keep his fool mouth shut. David Kupferstein, 36, stopped with pals at the Hustler Club in March 2015 when one of the dancers chatted up the group. “She kept on talking to …
Why America Needs Gun Control, Part…Oh Forget It
Honest to god, I don’t even know what to say right now, so I’m just gonna leave this here. Gun target practice in apartment leads to arrest in Cape Coral Bullets went through wall into adjacent apartment According to Cape Coral Police, neighbors reported being woken up by a loud bang and found a large …
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Here Comes Peter Cottontail, Inbox Full Of Angry Mail
Oh for Christ’s sake. Peter Rabbit filmmakers and the studio behind it are apologizing for insensitively depicting a character’s allergy in the film that has prompted backlash online. Sony Pictures said Sunday in a joint statement with the filmmakers that “food allergies are a serious issue” and the film “should not have made light” of a character …
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