Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
In case you were wondering (god I hope you’re not), there are no good times to steal a police cruiser. There are only bad times and worse times, And one of the worst times of all is when the cruiser on which you have your eye is sitting in the parking lot of its police …
Continue reading “Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Gonna Cruise On Home”
As a lad, I remember watching Danny Tartabull play baseball. He was pretty good at it as I recall, especially at the part where you hit the ball very well seemingly more often than you miss it. But as good as he was at that, he was apparently much less good at paying his child …
Initially I just tweeted this story out and was prepared to leave it at that, but the longer I allow it to turn itself about in my brain the stronger the urge becomes to memorialize the stupidity at work here because sometimes, the simplest mistakes are also the dumbest mistakes. I do not have asthma. …
Why is it that right before you’re about to do something, you almost always hear a ridiculous and/or dangerous story about that thing? The example that always comes to mind for me is years ago when I had to have surgery on my arm. I’m sitting in the living room watching TV with my family …
After you’ve broken into an apartment in an attempt to rape somebody only to be chased off by a dude with a sword, you’d think you might want to lay low for a while and maybe stop pushing your luck. But you, my friend, are not Francisco Chavez. *His* next move was to waltz into …
Continue reading “I Need That Cash Back! How Am I Supposed To Buy a Clue Without It?”
It hasn’t happened in a few years to my knowledge, but it was only going to be a matter of time before some guy (it’s always a guy) went and pulled a Wolfname, and that time is now. Police in Boynton Beach, Florida, had been trying to solve a rash of thefts from local businesses. …
Continue reading “It Could Also Mean Pilferer Of Everything”
People shoot themselves this way with stunning regularity, but rarely are those people as aptly named as Jason Trigger. Trigger, 35, was in a Dollar General store in Hudson when a handgun fell from his waistband, hit the floor and fired into his right ankle, according to Bay News 9. He left before paramedics arrived …
So much for the older the wiser, and for the it’s only young folks that spend their lives glued to their phones not paying attention stereotype. First it was the 80-year-old man plowing into a police car that was on a distracted driving patrol, and now a 67-year-old woman has fallen six feet down an …
Continue reading “Her Text Said Sure, I’ll Drop In In A Minute”
We use this one a lot, but appropriate is appropriate, soooo… Though it’s doubtful you would need one, if ever should come a day when screwing up a jewelry store robbery really, really badly becomes necessary, I present to you this handy guide courtesy of Colin Ayers and Mervin Chong. Make sure that it’s 9:30 …
Continue reading “They Got No Rings, But The Police Got A Couple Of Collars”
This is absolutely ground we’ve covered before, but since I consider what I’m about to share with you to be an absolutely fantabulous reason to cover it again that may perhaps never be topped, let’s do that. When they come to your door, always (Always!) allow the nice officers to speak first so that you …