When a safe was stolen from a drug store in Swansboro, North Carolina, police were pretty sure that Ryan James Mullins might know where it went. Why? Because they caught up with him as he passed them while dragging the 8-foot tall beast behind his car, that’s why. They even got him on video, it …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Just A Drunk Ol’ Boy…
Were you to ask me what sort of person would do this, my answer would be either a drunk guy or a Floridian. In this case, I’d be right twice. Authorities say Travis Ryan Royal of Dunnellon was seen dragging a 48-inch, flat-screen television toward the front door of the Wal-Mart at 9570 SW State …
Jesus Take The Meal
One of the more creative dine and dashes I’ve seen comes out of Lawton, Oklahoma. Well, I guess it’s not as much a dine and dash as it is a dine and sit there hoping for the best, but you know. Police say Kristi Rhines ordered several alcoholic drinks and food at El Chico in …
I Thought An Artisanal” Ice Cube Was A Popsicle
Dear god. Please tell me that people are not seriously willing to pay an extra dollar to have a bartender plunk an “artisanal” ice cube into their drinks. A Manhattan will set you back $14 at forthcoming downtown restaurant and bar Second State. Want it on the rocks? That will be a dollar more—for a total of $15. …
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You Should Try Alpine Lager. Just Don’t Chug It, Because That’s Dumb
So here I am, enjoying a late afternoon beer when this pops up in my RSS reader. Chugging Is Dumb I’m not gonna lie. The ability to chug a beer impresses me somewhat for one simple reason. I can’t do it. But just because you can do it doesn’t mean you should. It really is …
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It’s Not The Size Of The Boat, It’s The Motion Of The Metallic Objects You DIY Into The Boat That Matters
Why would you…who would ever…what would possess someone…Jesus no!!!!!!!!! A Malaysian man who implanted 10 metal ball bearings in his penis to bolster his sexual abilities had to have the balls surgically removed when they started to rust. The man, identified as Ramli, 44, told the Harian Metro newspaper he implanted the balls himself after …
Flaming Imbecile
I was a teenager once and I still love a good prank, but that doesn’t always mean I understand some of you idiots. For instance, when the driver is driving the car you are in, leave him alone. Talk to him, make him laugh, but under no circumstances should you touch him. Alright, if he’s …
The Other Episodes Of We Regret The Error
The other day, Carin asked me what ever became of that We Regret The Error thing that Deadspin was doing. It turns out that the one I posted marked June 2013 was the last one they did, giving up because the news really is that incompetent and they couldn’t keep up. But the 3 they …
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They Must Have Used Apple Maps
I’ll be honest with you. My geography skills are terrible. Like I could probably get confused finding the difference between Scotland, Ontario and Scotland, Scotland terrible. That’s not ok. But it’s more ok than it would be if my job were making maps that made sense and were accurate. Good thing my job is making …
Me? Angry? The Mere Suggestion Makes Me Want To Punch Things
Haven’t seen one of these in a while. Following a prior assault conviction, Kelly John Lange, a 34-year-old Sioux Falls resident, was ordered by a judge to attend anger management classes. But when he did not complete that course, he was ordered to appear in court to answer for his no-shows. According to police, Lange …
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