For A Small Donation, You Can Make A Brighter Future For A City Program That Needs A Helping Hand

I’m not really sure I have anything beyond the obvious to say about this, but I feel I need to point it out because…well, just because. The City of Toronto is making an appeal to homeowners to consider making a donation to city programs when they pay their property taxes. When Toronto homeowners receive their …

Dear Western Canadians: Your Police Want To Kill You So You’ll Learn Something

It’s never good when the first thing you sit down to read on any given day is the stupidest fucking thing you’ve read in several, but it’s even worse when the stupidity in question comes from the police, who are supposed to be protecting people. Just look at this. Seriously, just look at it! VANCOUVER …

Another Shoplift With A Cop Arrest, But There May Be Hope For This One

There’s been yet another Shop With A Cop shoplifting arrest. A few more and this may need its own tag. More than 24 Sarpy County Sheriff’s Department deputies were in the store at the time. Some of the deputies taking 75 underprivileged children holiday shopping noticed a man running from the Walmart with electronics in …

I Have An Emergency! I Seem To Be All Out Of Brain Cells!

Ahh, the people with whom we share this world. Chatham, Ont. police unveil silliest 911 calls of 2011. Yes, all of these are from one town. A town which, it should be pointed out, is in the same general area where you should probably just say no to the holiday punch. 1. A woman called …

Hello, 911? We Wouldn’t Like To Report A Robbery, But We’re Too Stupid Not To

Reason 17392 why you A: never program 911 into your cellphone contacts and B: always lock the aforementioned cellphone: If you knock off a Target to the tune of some DVDs and video games and then want to brag about it while you’re getting away, the getaway might suddenly become much more difficult than you …

A Few Words On Guelph Transit’s Ridiculousness

Excuse me for a second while I rant about Guelph Transit. Yes, again. Listen, guys. I understand that you have a tough job. Pleasing everybody in a city of 100 some thousand people many of whom have different wishes, wants and needs cannot be an easy task. I’ll even be up front and admit that …

What A Dmubass

I imagine there are quite a few vandals roaming around with a less than adequate grasp of spelling, but I’m not sure how many of them are as consistent or as easy to catch as Adam Hall. Last month, somebody Vandalized Brittany Speckman’s car. Whoever it was bent the license plate, keyed it and scratched …

Welcome To The Second Annual Shoplift With A Cop

For the second year in a row, there’s been a shoplifting arrest at a Shop With a Cop event. I’m hoping this is something we can expect every year, like Christmas and the Darwin Awards. Loss prevention officers at the Wal-Mart on Acton Lane saw a man in a back room cutting open packages of …

Sploosh Splosh Swimmin’ In A Thought Pool

It’s random thought splatter time. Put on your rubber boots, this thought puddle’s a doozer. Like every year, I have to get my silly Christmas shopping talk in there. When December started, I was flipping out, I’d hardly bought anything, and it was…what was Steve’s word? De-fucking-cember? I can’t find it, but ya know. Anyway, …