Alexander Graham Bell, You’re a Genius!

That looks like a strange thing to say, now that phones are everywhere and they’re so ordinary. But that must have been what they thought when he first invented the thing. And why would such weirdness be swirling through my head? Because I got a taste of what it must have been like before phones yesterday.

Like I said, we’re almost ready to get over to the new place. Well, my stuff is over there, and Steve’s moving on Saturday. Since we’re using Steve’s phone account and had to move it yesterday or be screwed until Monday or Tuesday, poor Steve was without a phone. I don’t know if he’d call himself poor Steve, but damn it he’s poor Steve for the purposes of this story. So I go down to the lobby to speak to our poor stressed out building manager to get my buzzer tied in with my phone and book the elevator for Steve’s folks/moving crew who are heaving things like couches into the new home, and I find out that the elevator’s not going to be available at the time we would have hoped. Now, what would one normally do? Call Steve and say hey, what should we do now? But he’s got no phone! Add to that that my internet’s not in at the new place because I need his big length of cable that, um, he’s using. So he may have the internet, but I have no way of reaching him. So all that’s left to do is take the bus across the city and talk to him face to face.

So off I go, thinking about how it must have sucked to not even have the bus back then, and only having horses and such. Then I get off the bus, and I really think I’ve been placed in one of those old movies. I’m running down the street, and I hear a slow spit…spit…spit. Within a minute, it becomes pit pat pit pat pit pat…and as I get close to Steve’s house, it’s more like pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter! Can’t you just hear the dramatic old movie music?

I have to admit that once I got the message to Steve, the old time feel died suddenly when we…sent an email to his mom and asked what time would work for her. But it really made me think about how much we depend on the phone, and how I never want to go VOIP! And it made me realize how important the words “Mr. Watson, come here, I need you!” really were.

2006 World Goalball Championships. Online Radio

This was just sent to the old inbox for circulation. If you have no idea what Goalball is – the rest of this post will not interest you. Anyway – here’s the e-mail.

“Hi Sports fans!

We are just a few days away from the beginning of the 2006 IBSA World Goalball Championships, where we will make history by providing live goalball for the first time ever!

In this e-mail we’ll list the games we are intending to cover (we will possibly do more if demand is as high as we are expecting!), and we’ll show you how to get on to the site to enjoy the games!

Here is the list of games we are intending to cover during the round robin events, all leading up to Saturday the first of July, when we will bring you all the action from the round of 16 right through to the trophies presentations.

All times mentioned are Eastern Standard Time – local times (5 hours behind UK time, six hours behind Europe, fifteen hours behind Sydney Australia)

Wednesday – MALE

10:00 AM SWEDEN VS AUSTRALIA

11:00 AM USA VS SLOVENIA

Thursday – Female

2pm Australia Vs Brazil

3pm Denmark Vs Greece

Friday – Mens

1pm Denmark Vs Algeria

2pm Germany Vs China

FEMALE

3pm Canada Vs Finland

Then Saturday from 9am until the conclusion around about 10pm

How to link in to the games

Let me stress first of all, once more, these internet broadcasts are free!

There is no sign up required.

Each evening you can listen to edited highlights of the day’s play on the Audio Network, where there will be a permanent audio record of the tournament that you can catch up with any time. Here is the link to the edited highlights show, which will be online commencing Wednesday morning.

www.sports.pressakey.net

This is also where you can play an online interactive game of goalball on your computer for free too!

NOTE FROM VC: This game is the single worst game of all time – do NOT waste your time. I beg you. Now back to your regularly scheduled announcement.

Listening live is just as easy!

Here is the web address of talking communities where you can listen to the games

http://www.talkingcommunities.com/pat

Once there, click on the first link called “Auditorium”. A page will appear that will ask for your name and a password. Simply put in your name, no password is required for this event. You will then be taken to the auditorium, where you will hear the live goalball at the specified times.

If you have any problems connecting, Pat Price would be happy to help with any questions! Here is Pat’s e-mail address…

pat@talkingcommunities.com

We are so excited to be pushing the boundaries of blind sports coverage, and

we hope you will enjoy the tournament.

All there is left to say is good luck to all teams competing! (Note from VC: but especially Canada)

Best regards,

Bill Teale (the Audio Network)

Pat Price (Talking Communities)”

And that’s that. Neat concept. whether it will fly or not or whether there will be the demmand from the “blink” community to make it worth while on a regular basis is yet to be determined – but good on them for trying. I, however, will not be listening as myself and a friend will be flying to South Carolina Wednesday morning to take in the rest of the round robin and playoffs. It should be a great time.

Another Me Plug

Right now over on Salty Ham, there’s a deal going on where a bunch of us are choosing the 5 CD’s we’d want with us if we were ever stuck alone on a deserted island. Well, this is my week, and my picks have been posted. So if you’ve ever wondered what some of my favourite albums of all time are, or if you just need something to do for the next 5 or 10 minutes, the article is right here.

While you’re there, feel free to check out the choices made by some of the other writers as well. Links to their articles can be found on the page linked above.

Ok, I’m off to pack some stuff for the move now, I’ll be back later.

Ummm

Bobcaygeon, No.
Wheat Kings, No
Fireworks, No.
That Night In TORONTO!!!! No.
New Orleans, No.
Ahead By A Century, No.
Vaccination Scar, No.
Music at Work, No.

These, my friends, are songs that the Hip elected not top lay at their concert. That’s right. Saturday night in Toronto – they didn’t play THAT NIGHT IN TORONTO! Now – do I like all of the songs on this list? No. But I do most. And they were hits so someone liked them. And given how many people were at this show and paid nearly 50 bucks to be there – you probably should have played them.

I don’t have a problem with no stuff or mixing it up. But 2 songs no one new the words to in the encore? What? Why’d you even come back out? You just pissed people off more. And believe me. People were PISSED walking out of there. Andl istening to the Classic Rock station on the way home that was pimping up post-Hip parties at different bars. Well they had people on who were also pissed.

No one should be surprised. Gord Downie has a history of playin what he wants when he wants. So this should be no shocker. But it’s still ignorant.

So what did they play? Alot of new stuff which wasn’t bad, alot of stuff from old albums that never made it as hits and about 4 or 5 hits.

– Nautical Disaster – my favourite Hip song, luckily, or I’d be even more annoyed.
– Courage – which was done as a very well said tribute to the Nurse’s at Toronto Sick Children’s Hospital. “We may not ever know what Heaven is – but we know what Hell is – a child in pain. A nurse can do more than any priest, a nurse can do more than any government, a nurst can do more than any lawyer. This is for the Nurses at Sick Kids”. I thought it was a nice touch.
100th Meridian, 38 Years Old, and It’s A Good Life If you Don’t Weaken.

That was it for hits. Was it a bad show? No. The stuff they did was good and high energy and the crowd was in to it (at the beginning anyway before the clock was winding down and they weren’t playing any hits). Would I go see them again? Probably. But not until they’re old and are like the Stones and are touring just for the hits. Other than that I can now say I’ve seen Canada’s biggest Rock band – and I’m content with that.

The rest of the day with the guys was good and fun – but not wild. Some wandering Toronto, looking at music stores at sweet guitars. Nothing ground breaking or story warranting.

Roundtable Plug

Just a quick note to let anybody who happens to care know that Salty Ham’s
Vengeance Roundtable
has been posted.

Hopefully I do better this time around than I did last time out. But funnily enough, even though I got utterly schooled at Backlash, I’m still not in last place, which amuses me greatly because I didn’t think such a thing was possible.

Also, for anybody keeping track [Carin and Matt], we’ve hit our 1000th post, at least so says the counter on the Blogger site. Go us!

Maybe I’d consider Going To Church If This Guy Was Preaching There

The joke I posted earlier got me thinking about a video that I stumbled on a few days ago. I’m not sure how long this show lasted, but if it was more than 1 episode, I’d be stunned.

The sound is kind of quiet and you can’t really hear the people calling in, but you don’t really need to for this to be funny.

And for all of you who are stupid enough to be surfing for things like this while you’re working, you might wanna wait until you get home if you don’t have headphones or run the company.

I Guess He Didn’t Like It Then?

I just read this in the newspaper, and it might well be one of the greatest album reviews I’ve ever seen.

THREE DAYS GRACE

One X (Sony/BMG)

This repetitious, mind-numbing experience is best summed up by the song titles: Pain, Get Out Alive, Let it Die (not a Feist cover), Time of Dying, and Over and Over. Is there some kind of theme at work here? Supposedly the album was written about the drudgery of being on the road for years at a time, which one supposes is the cost of becoming a million-selling band.

Every lyric can be reduced to “I feel like I could die/ but I’m alive.” That must be about the 23 boring hours of the day versus the one hour concert, but sitting through One X makes it hard to imagine 60 minutes on stage with this band being any more stultifying than the rest of their road dog existence.

To call this formulaic would be a compliment, but Gone Forever is one of the most shameless Nickelback rewrites since — well, Nickelback themselves. Not surprisingly, the Alberta superstars can be found thanked in the liner notes alongside Seether, Staind, 3 Doors Down, Theory of a Deadman and rock radio’s seemingly endless parade of identically beige bands. When Adam Gontier sings, “Somebody help me get through this nightmare,” I feel his pain.

Finding Jesus

A drunk stumbles across a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.

He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says,

“Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?”

The drunk looks back and says, “Yess, Preacher..I sure am.”

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. “Have you found Jesus?” the preacher asked.

“Nooo, I haven’t!” said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, “Now, brother, have you found Jesus?”

“Noooo, I have not Reverend.”

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, “My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?”

The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher…

“Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

It’s Not Their Job!

Ok, time to vent a little.

I just finished reading an article in which members of the RCMP as well as B.C.’s Solicitor-General John Les slammed the makers of the new movie “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” for making a film that glorifies illegal street racing. They say that the movie’s producers are irresponsible for celebrating such a dangerous and deadly activity, and they worry that the film may cause people to take what they’re seeing in the theatres out to the car and onto the roads with them.

Lucas Black, one of the stars of the movie, quite rightly pointed out in response that “”The drifting and driving stunts in Tokyo Drift are amazing and they’re also fantasy, and that “city streets and highways are no place for reckless behaviour.” And just so we were perfectly clear about everything, he dropped this bit of knowledge on us as well. “Stunt driving belongs in the movies and not on city streets.”

That’s probably a slightly better response than “fuck you guys,” which had they gotten it, wouldn’t have been completely undeserved. Harsh yes, out of line, no.

Let’s look at the facts.

Every time a movie, television show or videogame comes out that touches a nerve with somebody who holds a little bit of power, we hear about it. And when we hear about it, we always hear about how horrible it is, and how soon enough it will be the ruination of society because, I suppose, we’re all too stupid to distinguish fantacy from reality. None of these people ever come right out and say that, but honestly, what other reason could there be? If there’s no danger that somebody might take things too far, why bother bringing it up? Why not spend the time and energy doing whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing for a living, which I guess in this case would be either mountedly policing or generally soliciting, however one goes about doing something like that. Or if you don’t want to do that, why not spend a little time figuring out how the world works. Maybe by doing that, you would realize that it isn’t the job of the Hollywood types to be our moral compass, it’s their job to entertain us in whatever manner they so choose. It then becomes the responsibility of the rest of us to be discerning in our entertainment decisions. You can’t expect anybody to make a movie and then tell his customers not to watch it, that’s just stupid. But what you can expect is that he will present us with the option, and that the savvy consumers will then decide what’s right for them and their families. It’s the same with pretty much everything else. If you like Brand X of milk but not brand Y, you buy brand X and leave Brand Y on the shelf. You have the choice, you make the choice, free will and democrasy triumph over the forces of well, people like you who don’t seem to want us to be able to make any sort of choice at all. It seems simple enough, I don’t understand why people can’t figure this out.

And on the issue of society being stupid, yeah, we are. Every one of us without exception has done at least 1 dumb thing. But as dense as most of us have ever been, a lot of us are intelligent enough to comprehend the concept of something like fiction. If you’re over the age of…let’s be generous and say 12, you’re probably well on your way to understanding the differences between real and make believe, at least I’d like to think so. So who does that leave as targets for these government warning messages? I hate to say it, but if you’re 33 and wondering how it is that the dogs in the Disney movies can speak better English than you can, the good ship Hope for the Future has sailed, and you showed up late for the boarding call. And that being the case, all that’s left for the protectors of law and good taste are a bunch of deaf ears, deaf ears who do well to remember that they exist from day to day, let alone interpret anything that anybody else might try to make them understand. Those who get it already get it, and those who don’t aren’t going to, or they’re children who will hopefully have it taught to them by a responsible influence as they grow and learn.

So please, stop wasting my time and yours. You’re not helping anybody now, and next time we have to have this discussion, and believe me, we will, nothing will have changed other than the target of your outrage.

Hippest Birthday Ever

And that friends probably goes down as my lamest Title ever. Humblest apologies for subjecting you to it. Onward!

So today is your third favourite VC writer’s birthday! Hizzah! Yes there’s been merriment abound today with well wishes, cards, a free lunch and so on. Not too shabby. I gotta tell you, though, that this has been one of the more depressing birthdays. Maybe that’s the wrong word. Maybe thought-provoking is better. I’m 23. No special number. Nothing changes in terms of benefits or legalities. Just 23. Yet it bugs me. 22 was fine – but 23 feels close to 25. And 25 is damn close to 30, and 40 and then dear god it’s down hill from there. I’m not depressed. I’ve just never had to answer the old “do you feel any older” question with a “yes” before.

Anyway – the family celebration is tonight. They’ve just opened up a Crabby Joe’s near my house. That’s the bar that our crew all hangs out at in Belleville as it’s right behind our house. It’s perfect. So I figure it’s time to christen the new one here in Oshawa. So the family is headed up there for dinner/wings and some beers. It should be pretty good.

The big celebration with my friends is this Saturday as it is to take place at Toronto’s Fort York. The Tragically Hip are playing a huge show there that a big group of us from schol got tickets to somehow – as the show sold out in minutes. My buddy’s birthday is next week so it fits in well between the two birthdays and it should be a huge piss up surrounding the show. Unfair to put “Jays Game” expectations on it – but should it reach that level I’ll definitely give it equal story telling time. Irregardless I’ll report back on the show as it should be a blast.

I think that’s it other than that we should all flame Steve for the fact that they played in his very hometown last week and, as far as I know, he did not attend despite the fact that from what I”m told by people that went, tickets were much easier to get. For shame, Steve. for shame.