Joe Knows Baseball

My good buddy Marty (who has much better taste in baseball teams than
Greg Twilly
does) clued me in to a funny note about the guy who caught Ken Griffey Jr.’s 600th home run ball.

It seems the man, identified only as Joe, did some thinking ahead just in case he happened to be the person lucky enough to catch it. He had another baseball with him, and once the homer was hit, he dropped that ball underneath the seats in right field and pointed to it as the one just hit out of the park. This caused the scrum you would expect, allowing Joe to stash the real one and make for the exit. Fine man that Joe. I wish I was half that smart.

the full story is
here,
including a debate about what should be done with it. For the record I’m with Marty, give the thing back to Griffey. Just because there’s money to be made doesn’t mean it *has* to be made. He’s only ever going to hit one 600th home run, and he should have first dibs on it if he wants it.

Dear Greg Twilly, My Bestist Friend Ever

This one’s for you buddy. I figured since you were nice enough to hijack the comments under this post in a pathetic attempt to make yourself feel better about your shitty favourite baseball team, the least I could do was give you a little something in return.
Mariners Fire Whiffing Coach

Fuck you very much, and have a fantastic day.

This Vacation Is Gonna Be A Blast!

Who comes up with this shit?

A new policy from the much loved and well respected US Transportation Security Administration states that people who refuse to present ID will no longer be allowed to board airplanes. However, if you say that you’d love to present it but you just can’t find it right now,
that’s just fine, you run along, and have a nice trip.

Um…uh…yeah…right…sure…whaaaaaat?

Officer, You’re Killing My Buzz

If you’re looking to not get yourself busted on a DUI, might I humbly suggest that you refrain from
tooling around the streets of New York in a motorized beer cooler,
especially one that has a top speed of 13 MPH?

Leslie J. “Bomber” Marr, 57, was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle after the police saw him swerving on the street and driving on the sidewalk in his “Cruzin Cooler,” Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle told the Post Star newspaper.

Marr’s electric-powered cooler was filled with 14 beers and has room for 24 cans and ice, Fox News reported.

Smile! You’re On Airport Camera

Yikes! Next time you fly, you’ll be given a choice. Either get the pat-down, or get scanned by a machine. You’d think the scan would be less invasive. Think again. Apparently the officer can see details such as colostomy bags, implants, the size of your breasts or genetals, and all manner of other things. But your face is blurred and the image cannot be stored or copied. How long until someone more corrupt figures out how to unblur the face and store the image? I think I’ll take the pat-down.

Brakes Not Included

This story of a very stripped down car leaves me with so many questions. Why, oh why would you buy a car with a cinder block as a driver’s seat and nothing else inside? How do you not notice that it has no brakes, or brake pedal for that matter? Hell, how do you drive it home? And why do you think getting out and pushing against it will stop it? Let’s review some physics, shall we? You weigh maybe 150 pounds. It ways 2 tons. Hmmmm, who’s gonna win?

I guess now you’ve learned why it was such a cheap car to buy. Too bad it pinned you first.

More UK bullshit

Here we go again. First it’s a human rights violation in Britain to post a fugitive’s photo. Now, they can’t even walk a guy across the street in handcuffs from one court to another because that would be assuming he was guilty and it would violate his human rights. So, since the prisoner van had left already, they had to call a van from 70 miles away to drive the guy the distance he could have walked. I can’t decide what would draw more stares: a prisoner van or a guy in handcuffs. Really, I don’t think they saved him any indignity. He’s going to get looked at one way or another.

God, this is so ridiculous, it’s sad.