Vomit Comet

Ok, I’m about to geek out, so hope I don’t bore too many.

Remember back when I said I got a new phone? Well, it came time to update the part that makes it talk, so I was going to figure out how. It was a bit tricky, so I figured I’d save some people the trouble of jumping through hoops.

What you have to do is go to the free trial area of the Nuance Talks site, which is here, and select your phone. Then they put the premium stuff first but if you scroll down, you will find the standard area. Pick the US English eloquence, and the link actually comes before the synthesizer it corresponds to. So, the link above the words “ETI Eloquence” that says Sis files US is the one you want. Yep, I said this was confusing. Or, apparently you can get to the Talks install faster if you go to a section of the Blind Sea site, the one I’m linking to. In case the site changes somehow, the files were under the mobile corner and then second edition third party software. Anyway, my model of phone’s version of Talks was there, so anyone who got the same deal as I did, that’s where you can go. There is also other cool stuff there, so have a look around.

So, now you have the file. If you’re paranoid like me, you’ll want to back up your Talks serial number so if something goes horribly amiss, you can put it back in. To do this, on your phone, go to Nuance Talks and zooms and go into the register menu and hit register manually. There, you’ll find your phone’s IMEI number and the serial for Talks. If you’re nuts like me, you’ll write them both down.

Ok, nutsitude over. Here comes some fun. Apparently, because of the design of newer phones, you can’t install applications on them via the computer. You can put the file on the phone, but you can’t go through the install that way. So you have to do it through the phone. And, Talks hasn’t mastered the art of making its installers talk, probably due to the fact that the whole thing has to be much smaller. So how much of a clue would I have on how to install the software without any speech? Zip! Nada!

Lucky for me, there is this enormous genius/geek who has somehow managed to memorize the sequence of key presses and has done an audio demonstration. So if you follow his demonstration exactly, you’ll be good to go. You can either listen to it, or download the thing. I did choice b so I could pause it when I needed to.

Got your files? Got your Phone? Got your USB cable? Got your nice tutorial? Good. Off we go! Surprisingly, this was the easiest part. First, you have to disable Talks to put the new version in. The site still calls this process using Talx-off, which apparently was an older program you had to download, or something, to disable talks. Now, the option is right there in the Talks menu. Anyway, the result is the same, it’s just confusing when you read about this mysterious Talx-off that you’ve never heard of before and can’t find anywhere.

One thing to know is the order of things. You have to install the synthesizer file first, and then the main screen-reader part. I don’t know why it goes in that order, but there it is.

All you have to do to move the files to the phone and start the install is hook up the phone to the computer and press enter on the files. The Nokia PC Suite comes up and wants to know what you want done with the files. You move them over to the phone, and it says its work is done and you’ll have to continue on the phone. Then, you just follow the man’s instructions in that handy dandy tutorial , and in a couple of minutes, you will have nice, updated Talks!

Whew! We’re done! Is your head spinning? Hope that wasn’t too confusing. I know it took me forever and a day and a few people’s help to find all the info I needed. I hope I’ve made someone’s life a little easier by compiling all of it here. Happy updating.