The Babs Journal: Day 1 (May 9, 2005)

I tried to enclose the actual journal in block quotes, because from time to time, I have to make remarks on what happened, notes from now to my past self, if you will. So off we go. Here I am. Holy shit. I stayed up all night last night because I’m a big dope and …

The Long-Lost Babs Journals

Believe it or not, we’re coming up on a year of Trixie goodness. I left last March 18 and took that big plane-ride to California and had no idea about my dog. All I knew was they’d founda match. This got me thinking about all things dog, and I thought about doing something weird. Back …

Queerying The What The Fuck Department…

15 Mar, Sat, 19:56:20Google:what can you sing after someone just went juicy doodoo? Um, why would you want to sing after someone just went juicy doodoo? I usually don’t like to hang around people while they’re taking a crap. Why are you watching them poop? You’re a sick man, a sick, sick man. The only …

I Can’t Think Of A Roomba-Spinoff For The Title, So I Won’t Try.

Jen sent me something fucking hillarious. It’s a little weird, but I thought someone else might get a kick out of it, especially if that someone owns a cat. In case anyone wonders what the hell a Roomba is, it’s a vacuum that moves all on its own and goes around and under the objects …

Season Until Slightly Stupid

A pair of bank robbers burst into tears and collapsed choking in Poland after they tried to use pepper spray on a cashier in front of an air conditioning unit. The wind blew the spray back over the pair, who staggered from the bank in the south-western city of Wroclaw empty handed. A local police …

I Think the Daily Mail Has A Fear Of Good Questions

How is it possible to write an entire story on afamous chef with a food phobia so intense that all he could eat was cookieswithout asking him why, if the fear was so bad, he decided to build his entire life around cooking? Call me crazy, but it seems to me that would be the …

Trixie, Are You A Dog, Or A mountain Goat?

Hey there Trixie. Why at the end of the winter have you decided that the only place for your poop to go is high up on the nearby snowbank that has recently formed? Don’t you realize that I have to line myself up with your butt so I can pick it up? This means that …