Well would ya look at that? It’s april 15. Two years ago, I came home on a plane from California with a certain black fuzzball at my feet. this must be confusing for some because 3 significant dates are all squished together, but I think they all matter, so I mention them all. It doesn’t …
Monthly Archives: April 2009
They Don’t Make You Wear Those Things Just Because They Look Nice
If a judge decides to release you from jail to give you another chance at life but for whatever reason you decide that your burglary career isn’t quite over, remember to take your ankle monitor off *before* you start breaking into houses. This reminder comes to you courtesy of your friends at Vomit Comet, and …
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Not A Sweet Treat
Andrew Sweet was reported to show off his private parts out his window every Wednesday for at least a month. So, deputies staked out his home and…on Wednesday, lo and behold, there was the sight to behold. When arrested and asked why only Wednesdays, he said that was the only day he had the house …
Here We Go with The Ads Again
Here we go again with more slogans that caught our attention. What a mishmash this is. Every timeI see commercials for denture grip, the stuff that holds dentures in place, it says “now with less ooze!” Ug! Doesn’t that sound wonderful? The idea of stuff oozing around my gums just makes me want to gag. …
Sprucin’ Up The Air He Breathes
The story of a 5-cm spruce tree growing inside someone’s lung leaves me with one question. How did it manage to get enough light to grow?
That Squirrel had To Die
Hey squirrels! Get the hell out of Spokane. Park officials have decided you’re too much trouble, so they’re going to detonate you and your tunnels. Yup, seriously. they’ve bought a product called the rodenator that’s supposed to collapse ground rodents’ burrows and kill the squirrels in a humane way. Yeah, because suffocating an animal to …
What A Whopper Of A Story
This story about a bunch of parents being offended by the new Burger King commercial with SpongeBob in it isn’t so bad. At first I thought oh no, people bitching about commercials, getting all worked up over nothing. Then I heard it described and thought maybe they had a case. What I think is pure …
Lawn And Order, Crazy Bastards Unit
Oh man. This story about Everett Keith keeps making me laugh. I could read it several times and I’d still laugh. How many times do you get the chance to see the words “saunter”, “mosey”, “wrythe” and “pilfer” in the same story? Our drunken fool walked, no no, sauntered, into a restaurant with a cigarette …
Well Bless My Little Pointed Head, I’m Howling At The Moon
I thought I had an imaginative mind. It likes to add detail to things, or connect things or events that might only be coincidence. Sometimes it reminds me of scary things as I walk down a street in the dark. But I don’t recall a time when it caused me to believe an inanimate object …
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It’s Not Thrilling To Share The Road With Jo Trilling
Last week I saw Tammy Webb’s story and thought “How could she get away with 3 DUI’s in 6 days?” But at least in her case, they couldn’t figure out what she was under the influence of, and after the last one, they set her bail pretty high. So I thought at least there’s hope. …
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