A USB Stick, In More Ways Than One

It’s been a while since we’ve been able to write about any sort of strange USB contraption. But today’s the day, and ladies, this one’s for you. A team of designers from San Francisco has developed a USB stick that doubles as a vibrator. Or maybe it’s a vibrator that doubles as a USB stick. …

From The Oilfield To The Prison Yard

Question: You’ve been bonded out of jail after being charged with the theft of $300000 in equipment from oilfields around southwest Oklahoma. One of the conditions of your release is that you have to wear one of those GPS ankle monitors. What should you do with yourself now that you’re free? If your answer involves …

There Were Bees, Bees, Way Down To His Knees…

Ug. Steve just loves torturing me with these. It must bring him such joy. Last summer, he sent me the story of a fellow making a bee head. Now, this guy had so many bees on him that he was wearing a bee sweater! Eeeeeeeeeek! And he wants to try wearing even more bees, so …

Who Put The Hard In The Hardware? You Did Baby, You Did.

We’ve talked before about Freddie and TeddyJohnson, both known for rubbing up against and groping women on busy subway trains in New York. Well, apparently they’re not alone, and this latest sicko has an even better name. Meet Darnell Hardware, yes, Hardware, who is accused of exposing himself, then grinding against women in the subway …

I Think I Can Resausagitate Him!

So. One of the fellows to whom you’ve sold heroin seems to have run into some trouble with the product. In fact, he’s overdosing. My oh my, but this is quite the pickle. Whatever shall you do? Call for help? Are you kidding? If anybody comes in here, you’re going down for sure. This is …

Here Comes The Bride…With A Gigantic Cartload Of Stolen Groceries

Weddings ain’t cheap, and I can certainly appreciate couples wanting to keep costs down especially in this time of economic uncertainty. But as with everything in this life, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it. The right way might involve keeping your eye out for sales, negotiating with catering …

United Breaks Spirits

We’ve long known that there is a large number of things that you cannot expect to be able to do when traveling by plane. Be comfortable, be treated like a human being, know for sure you’re going to get on the flight you paid good money for even though the number of existing seats hasn’t …

Hot Sauce Lady Goes From The Bottle To The Can

Remember the hot sauce lady from Dr. Phil? I did say she would always be known as that. she’s been convicted, although her lawyer’s pushing for no jail time, and it doesn’t sound like the kids are going to get much help. I blame Dr. Phil’s producers partly for this, if things went down the …