You’re A Foul One, Mr. Stolen Package

Among many tips, police say that if you’re receiving packages on your porch, you should have a camera there to discourage porch pirates from stealing the packages. What I’d love is a camera inside a particular stolen package, a lovingly-wrapped box of especially-disgusting diapers. It seems Angie Boliek had one too many Christmas packages stolen, …

She Targeted The Wrong Target

Here comes our latest shoplifter who chose to do it with 70 cops on hand for Shop With A Cop. This one is so head-slappingly stupid, it needs its own soundtrack. Not only did she pass two police motorcycles in the lobby of the Target store and several officers in their official uniforms once she …

A Cell Would Be A Fine Place For These Selwoods

Now, there’s a family whose parties were probably anything but fun. most of them ended up in jail for Christmas. Meet the Selwood family. We have a guy who doesn’t mind stabbing a buddy for asking him to share his steak dinner, and also doesn’t mind stomping on other people’s heads, among his 17 convictions. …

Vladimir Putin, Voice Of Reason: December 2017-December 2017

Well, so much for my theory about Vladimir Putin trying to act like the sensible one where the Russian Olympic ban is concerned. Russian President Vladimir Putin accused U.S. agencies of manipulating evidence from the main whistleblower on doping at the 2014 Sochi Olympics. Putin said Thursday that former Moscow anti-doping laboratory director Grigory Rodchenkov — who is under witness protection after …

Signed On Your Liver, I’m Yours

Update 2: Simon Bramhall will not be defacing further livers. Not in an official capacity, at any rate. His name has been taken off of the medical registry. ‘The Tribunal, having concluded that a suspension order would be insufficient to protect the wider public interest, determined that the appropriate and proportionate sanction is erasure. ‘The …

Can I Get A DNA Sample? Sure, As Long As You’ve Cleared It With The Artist

The news is full of technological advances nowadays, many of which are of questionable usefulness and don’t warrant much attention. But now and then you hear about something that stops you cold and all you can do is think holy Jesus, how did somebody ever come up with that? That happened to me just now …

Simply Orange And A Few Other Surprises

Meet Willis Gene Burdette, who may or may not be Michael Kevin Lallana’s grandfather. If the two aren’t related, they’re at least spirit animals or something. The woman contacted police after her home security system recorded Burdette entering the residence one afternoon. Burdette, a criminal complaint noted, got into the home by “using a key …