Steve found this letter to the editor about the upcoming relocation of buses out of the downtown square, and I’ve been meaning to tear it apart. I guess today’s the day. In case the link fails, Here’s its contents. Moving bus depot will kill downtown Relocating the city buses away from the downtown square and …
Author Archives: Carin Headrick
This Could Even Hurt Dogs’ Ears
After hearing Mamma Will Bark by Frank Sinatra, I feel like my brains got shaken up like a milkshake. I showed this to Steve, and he said he had never heard this horrible song, and we needed more information on this attrocity. There’s his answer. Ug. That’s just gross. It’s like the worst version of …
Ontario Is Seeking Feedback On Making Voting Accessible
I received an email about something that I think all folks in Ontario should know. Elections Ontario is trying to make elections accessible, and they’re seeking public comment on a draft standard they have written. Here is the message. Ontario’s Election Act has recently been amended. These amendments are designed to help ensure that all …
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From Soft Shell To Small Cell
The future’s looking bright for the child of 38-year-old Julie Bailey. I mean, when Bailey is pregnant, gets drunk, and goes out to rob a Taco John’s for crack money, how can things get much worse? She couldn’t even manage to pull out a hammer from her pocket! And she was walking around choosing a …
A Toe Is Not A Dog Treat
So, here’s a lesson, courtesy of Jerry Douthett. If you notice that your toe is swelling, so much so that you can’t wear shoes, and it smells, go to the fucking hospital, would ya? Don’t wait, because if you do, your dog may do an in-home amputation for you. This case is pretty much like …
Novocaine For The Hole
Ug. Now there’s an image I don’t need. Li Chang, a fishmonger in China, fell in a tank full of eels. The eels were a little freaked by the new person in their tank, and started slithering every which way. A few slipped up his trouser leg, and one of them slithered up his ass! …
See Dick Near School
I was originally going to write about this story because it was about a guy named Jerry Fitzgerald Dick exposing his dick to a woman, but there’s more. Not only was the guy flashing his dick named Dick, but the judge in the case was named Jim Hardin. Aww come on, that’s pretty close. But …
The Driver On The Bus Goes Blech Blech Blech, All Through The Ditch
The story of a bus driver leaning out of a moving school bus to vomit and then falling out of said bus is hilarious, but I can’t decide if I want to believe it or not. I want to believe it happened because I would have loved to have seen the driver fall out of …
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Roughin’ Him Up ‘Til We Hit The Ground
Gees! Some people are miserable old bastards. Take Fred Shipley, for example. He and Howard Soesman were waiting for an elevator at an assisted living facility. It came, and they both got on, along with an employee. But because Soesman cut ahead of Shipley, Shipley snapped and tried to strangle Soesman. Wow! He tried to …
Whoop’s On
I have a tip. Don’t cook for Jerome Keller. If he doesn’t like it, he might push and punch you and leave you to mop up the blood with paper towels. Just ask his 73-year-old wife if you don’t believe me.